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2 Bumps

Back child support

My DD is 5 years old and her dad just stepped into the picture, he always knew about her, I told him when I was pregnant and that is was his, I called him from the hospital when I had her and 2 more times before we got home, he never showed up. By the time I got home, he had changed his number and move. He hadn't contacted me in all that time and it wasn't until a couple months ago when my DH of 3 years tried to adopt her that he came forward. I had to put an add in the paper, call all his relatives that I knew how to contact and several other ways to contact him before the judge would sign for the adoption. Well now that my DD has a father, he wants to play daddy. Fine, but I spoke with my attorney who told me that he will be ordered to pay back child support for the past 5 years and half of all medical and half of all necessary child care (while I was at work) . Because he has been working under the table or not working at all, he will just be ordered the bare minimum of $237 a month. With all of that, he will owe well over $30,000. My ex has filed to ask the judge to forgive the back child support. Why in hell should he get out of that money? I mean it would be one thing if I never told him about her but I did, and I can prove it. My attorney said there is no way the judge is going to forgive it and that he will probably be told it has to be paid off before she graduates high school (about 13 years from now) meaning he will have to pay another about $250 a month in addition to the current payments. Would you let your ex off the hook for that much money? In my case, I know my ex will have to pay it but do you think a judge should let a father off for that much money?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • NO!!!! Do not give in. He needs to be responsible for "his" child.


    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:52 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Did your DH adopt her? Because that can change things...

    Answer by laird6372 at 10:53 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • No, if my DH had adopted her, he would no longer owe the money. See, I had to use all those methods to try to contact him to let him know that his rights would be terminated, well one worked and now he wants to play because he doesn't want my DH to.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:57 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • i wouldnt let him get away with out paying.. just bc he didnt want her then doesnt mean he should have to pay.

    Answer by chrstny88 at 11:07 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • i would give him two options... he pays it or he can revoke his rights,

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:32 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • NOPE!!!! He helped create the child, he should help support and pay for that child!!!! Why should he get to get away without paying anything and now after all these years decide to 'play daddy'? If he wants to be her dad then he needs to shoulder some of the responsibility too, not just have her for "fun" times and give her back to you when she is sick, or being out of sorts..... He needs to take on the 'whole package' of parenthood. The ONLY way I would let him off the hook for back child support is if he agrees to terminate parental rights and agree to let DH adopt her and be 'daddy' to her.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:45 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would not let him off the hook....I'd want him to pay every dime, because his immaturity and selfishness is costing your daughter a "real Dad" that she could have had with your DH.

    Answer by boys2men2soon at 12:18 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • He owes. He pays.

    Answer by meooma at 12:55 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • absoulutely not!!! Never in a million years! That jerk should pay every last cent! He has to understand that when it comes to children you first have a responsibility and then a right!

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 4:52 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • no. i would not. its his responsiblity. he should not have to just walk away with out paying. if he wants to play daddy he needs to pay all the child support. tell him he pays or he revokes his rights. those are the only two options.

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:29 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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