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2 Bumps

How would you feel if...

your husband wanted you to put your 17 month old upstairs because she was, quote, "bitching and crying and we have friends over that are trying to sleep" ? when you say you don't care, she's being a kid and the friends don't care either, the only one who cares is you, and she doesn't have to be isolated because we stayed up til 3 am drinking and our friends are passed out on the couch.. and he gets mad, storms off, flicks you off with both fingers and says "what the fuck ever. fuck me right? g-d damnit."

how would that scenario make you feel? what does it say about his character? the truth is, the couple that stayed here has crashed on our couch about 4 times now and we've always offered the spare bedroom but they LIKE the couch, and the first time they chose it i made sure they understood i have children who wake up early and are loud, and they said they don't care and prefer to sleep on the couch every time they come over to hang out with us (after the kids are in bed). they've made it clear they don't care, and even if they did they could leave if it bothered them. i'm not going to put my baby in seclusion because they want to sleep in peace. go home then or sleep on the bed. i don't think that's rude, as my husband thinks it is, rather me putting my kids' needs before some friends' needs.


Asked by tnm786 at 10:57 AM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • It seems like he was getting frustrated with her and instead of telling you it was him that needed a break, he used your friends as an excuse. He acted immaturely, you should talk to him and say if he's getting frustrated with the baby to just say so and take a break outside, he doesn't have to make excuses.

    Answer by miss_lisa at 11:04 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • my kid comes before my friends needs, especailly if there's an extra room that they can use. dh was probably hung over and wanted to sleep more also and not deal with the kids.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 11:10 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would be pissed and hurt.

    Sorry, kids are loud. I won't make my kids be quiet because our friends are here and still asleep. However, if, say one of our sets of parents are here, we'll encourage the kids to be quiet, but we won't force them to be and we won't send them elsewhere.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:05 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would be really upset and i would have the friends tell him that they made the choice to sleep on the couch and didn't care about getting woke up. The kids have to come first in this!!

    Answer by RShilling at 11:13 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • i would have told dh that HE can go outside and do whatever if it bothers HIM so much and if the "friends" complained to him about it they could complain to your face and you would deal with them separately.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:41 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Childrens' needs come FIRST!! Maybe she's B%tching and crying for a reason.

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 12:29 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would think my husband had completely lost his mind if he talked to me like that. The issue isn't the child the issue is his total lack of respect for you unless that's the way you talk to each other in general.

    Answer by meooma at 12:49 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I'm guessing that this isn't an isolated incident and your husband does this often. My first husband used to do that, once when my daughter was 22 months old, he came home from work, my daughter pointed to the door and yelled "go back to work!" And I knew she had enough of his bs so we left his dumb ass.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would say its time for you to step out.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:22 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • this is not his typical behavior, only a behavior i've seen for the last 2 years that's getting progressively WORSE even with treatment. he has ptsd from serving in the war for 15 months.

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Jun. 12, 2011