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Me and my ex have 2 girls, 5 and 8. We have gotten along ok since we divorced until he got remarried. He wife finds fault in everything I do with my girls (it's not even her business what I do with them, short of abuse). Well I am COed to send over their clothes during visitation (they see him one week at the beginning of the summer and one week towards the end). I packed them a weeks worth of shorts/ skorts and tank tops plus 2 dresses each. I also send bikinis (they are both tall and skinny so if they wear one pieces, they are either too short and they have camel toe or they are too baggy and privates show. I sent them one pair of tennis shoes, a pair of flip flops and a pair of dress shoes each (with the half inch heal on them). So they got back yesterday and their bags have nothing in them but socks, underwear (all dirty) and the tennis shoes and flip flops. I asked their dad where everything else was, he said SM felt that they were inappropriate so she threw them away to make sure they don't wear them again. I was FUMING mad (the dresses were Lura Ashley, which are expensive) and I told him not to expect any clothes to come with them next time, he said that violates the CO. Really, it doesn't because I sent clothes over and didn't get them back so as far as I am concerned, they still have them. WWYD? should I send new ones next time or not? I am so pissed off because I will now have to replace a lot of clothes now

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • record him saying that SM put them in the trash.. whats he doing to do then?? That was YOUR money in the trash. so now he should or hell SHE should buy ur girls all new things..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • nope. you sent the clothes, and no matter what you did with them, you "don't know" that they threw them away, so, in your eyes, they have clothes there. let him have to buy clothes for them.

    are they close? in all honesty, if it were me, and they lived close enough to where i could drive there, i'd be pounding on the door either demanding my clothes back or the money for the clothes.


    Answer by armywife43 at 3:14 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • it is the other parents responsibility to provide the clothes each child needs while they have them..we had this issue too with my sd going to bio moms..we have full custody the bio would not throw them away she would just NEVER return them! It made me sooo mad..I would request that the clothes be replaced if they didnt like them SHE should of consulted with you first to maybe find something else...

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 3:15 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would send clothes that are not expensive. Walmart , K mart stores you can get shorts and shirts for kids as low as 4 or 5 dollars sometimes even cheaper.

    Answer by ladybug0614 at 3:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • No, I would also demand the clothes back or replaced immediately. OMG, can you imagine how your girls must have felt having her paw through their clothes, casting judgement and throwing them away. Evil SM in my opinion.

    Answer by Lornamay at 3:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • In that situation. I would not send anything over anymore. Nothing. Just what they are wearing. I would tell him to buy cloths for them from now on, for his house. I agree with you on this.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • oh i forgot when you get the clothes back take note of what shape they are said they were dirty right? Be sure to get pic's you might need that would be kind of hard to explain several pair of nasty undies...sounds to me like shes slacking or your ex is in the laundry dept!

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 3:18 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • If they threw them away then they had to buy clothes for the girls to clothes shouldn't be an issue.

    Answer by sassygoddess at 3:34 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I agree that they had to put something on the girls when they threw the clothes away so they have clothes there. I wouldn't sweat it. If the court asked about it (it will cost him money to take it back to court over it) then tell the truth, you sent over clothes. What did they wear home? (new clothes they bought?)

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:39 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • There is a solution to everything. If it were me, I would have a conversation with your ex and his wife and come to terms on what will change so this doesn't happen again. Stay logical and just approach it direct for everyone involved. This type of thing is not uncommon. I would also ask this SM why she thought she could just throw things away instead of having some consideration and talking to you about what was going on. It is a lack of respect and communication. Those are the cores I would focus on. Good Luck.. :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 3:45 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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