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2 Bumps

I got a joke, then share one with me, adult content

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.

Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'

His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The fucking funeral director would be my first guess."

Answer Question
 
RedDahlia82

Asked by RedDahlia82 at 5:07 PM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Just for Fun

Level 17 (3,799 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Good one!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 5:09 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • sidesplittinglaughter

    Mexish72

    Answer by Mexish72 at 5:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
    10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

    9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

    8. See if they could finally do the splits.

    7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

    6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

    5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

    4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

    3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

    2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

    1. Finally find that damned G-spot
    RedDahlia82

    Comment by RedDahlia82 (original poster) at 5:35 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • LMAO you know that was my thought as well when he started making those demands, lmao.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:56 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • lol too funny guys sorry but i dont have one
    BOOKER123ABC

    Answer by BOOKER123ABC at 6:01 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • There are four kinds of sex :

    HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

    BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

    HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

    COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Kate was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner.
    Her husband Paul was in the living room drinking a beer and watching the game.
    "Honey, you need to come in here and fix the fridge. The door is broke and if you don't fix it the food will go bad." Kate said.
    Paul yells back, "Who do I look like the GE man, I Don't think so."
    A little while later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the hall light, it's out."
    "Who do I look like an electrician, I don't think so, " Paul says.
    A few minutes later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the porch step before someone gets hurt on it."
    Paul quickly replies, "Who do I look like a carpenter, I don't think so."
    Frustrated, he gets up and leaves.
    He decides to go to a bar down the road.
    After the game was over, he began to feel slightly guilty for the way he treated his wife so he went on home.
    He comes up the porch and realizes that the step is fixed.
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 6:52 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • He walked into the house and noticed that the hall light was fixed.

    He walked into the kitchen to get a cold beer and noticed that the fridge was fixed.

    Paul sees his wife and says, "Babe, how did you fix all this."
    She looked at him and said, "Well after you left I began to cry on the porch.
    A fine young man walked past and noticed I was crying and he asked me what he could do to help.
    He fixed everything.
    I asked him what I could do for payment.
    He said I could either bake him a cake or sleep with him."
    Paul says, "Well, what kind of cake did you bake him?"
    Kate looks at him and replies, "Who do I look like Betty Crocker, I don't think so
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 6:53 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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