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Toddler Tantrums.. I really don't know how to handle these

My dd is 21 months and when she gets pissed she gets PISSED. She will run around in circles screaming at the top of her lungs and work herself up so much that she will almost throw up. I don't know what to do when she does this. Today I was so frustrated I just took her to her crib and left her there till she stopped. Then went and got her and the second I picked her up she started again. I don't even know what she wants! What do you do when your toddler does this?

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LT70

Asked by LT70 at 5:12 PM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (52 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Basically.... Just ignore them! Kids are constantly doing that in the stores and such too. You just have to remember that you are an adult, they are a child. You are bigger and stronger, you can get through it. Ignore them, they will figure out real quick that it does not get them the attention they want.

    However, on the other hand, wouldn't it be totally cool if we, as adults, could throw a tantrum like that when we get pissed off?! I so would do that in the middle of Walmart!!!

    LOL... It's a phase Mom, it will pass.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 5:14 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • With my son... if he throws a tantrum he gets a time out... his times outs are 4 mins long, typically it's "standard" to do 1 min/age, however, with my son he needed more time to calm down and regain his composure... 4 mins is a good time for him. When he is in time out (which is on the second step) we walk away.... there is no talking to him or asking him to be quiet... he can carry on as long as he wants... BUT if he is still crying at the 4 minute mark then time out is not finished until he's calm. I would say 99% of the time he's fine in about 2 mins and then the other 2 to re-group.... but a handful of times he's had to sit longer. When time out is done we talk about why he was in time out and we give hugs.

    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 5:19 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • My son started throwing major tantrums too,i make sure he is safe and just ignore it.He usually stops if i do not give in.When he stops,i remind him to use his words instead of tantrums.Goodluck.
    mommyof1896

    Answer by mommyof1896 at 5:23 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • You ignore them and go to another room. If they follow you, move again. The only thing you say to them is I will not speak to you when you are behaving this way. Then walk away. It will not take them long to figure out this isn't working. Tantrums may intensify briefly at first, don't give in. If they throw a fit in the store. Leave your cart, pick them up and leave. Giving in to tantrums sets you up for discipline failure all the way down the line.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:27 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I do the same thing as AmeJanell. They aren't fully aware of their emotions and sometimes need some reassurance that it's ok to be frustrated, but it's not ok to scream, run around, etc. I take away toys if he's naughty, but I reserve time outs for calming down and talking it out(although he barely talks, so I do most of the talking it out). HTH
    hill_star03

    Answer by hill_star03 at 5:29 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • You did the right thing. If she started screaming again when you reappeared walk away.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 5:57 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Kids will do what works! If you give the behavior attention it will keep up. Just ignore her until it stops. If it starts again, ignore it until it stops. This is if the behavior is all about getting what she wants! If it's a matter of frustration and not being able to do sometthing she is trying to do, then teach. Toddlers can be very frustrating and they are learning to see their "power" if their tantrums get attention. Don't give in and do what she wants you to or she'll learn that will work for her. Good luck!
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 6:57 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • with my 2 and 3 year old if they through a temper tatutrum i put them in time out for how ever many minutes pur age if they dont stay keep puting them back and dont give in but ignore them the whole time while in the process:)
    mommyoflogan23

    Answer by mommyoflogan23 at 9:54 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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