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I have a 12 yr old step son from my marriage with my ex. We just divorced in January and I have been in his son's life since he was 2 yr old so I still have a relationship with him. He will occasionally come and stay for a weekend with my boys and I and when he is here all he does is fight and pick on my 6 yr old. He will yell at him for the littlest things and will smack or hit him for no reason. When this happens I'll send him to the room he stays in for while he was here or I will take away his cell phone and ipod. It works for a couple of hours or so but then he ends up doing it again. How would you handle this?


Asked by JessMomToDLA at 8:34 PM on Jun. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (32 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I agree with the above poster; divorce is hard on kids. His life just got turned upside down. It sounds like he's taking it out on his brother because his brother is the most convenient target. He might be the one who simply annoys him the most, or is in the wrong place at the wrong time. I would look into therapy for him. In the meantime, I would talk it out with him. Be supportive. Tell him you've been noticing that he's been picking on his little brother, and then ask him if he knows why he does it. He might not. Then explain that you understand he's frustrated and angry, but hitting and yelling at those who love you is not a good way to solve problems. Work on strategies he can use instead of hitting or yelling. Count to ten, walk away, come talk to you, call a friend, etc. Also, make sure the 6-year-old is not provoking the 12-year-old. Make sure that when the older one says "leave me alone", the little one does.

    Answer by GlowWorm889 at 9:33 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • it sounds like he is being a typical 12yr old..keep doing what you are doing..if things persist i would mention it to his dad and maybe he could talk to him

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 8:38 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • He is little old to be fighting with a 6 year old. He is probably upset about the divorce and is not sure how to express it. Maybe some counciling or even a one on one conversation with him would help. Good Luck mama!!

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 8:40 PM on Jun. 12, 2011