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Is there anything wrong with training the one your with?

 
lizzybee44

Asked by lizzybee44 at 9:25 PM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,681 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • "men are slobs"? I think members of both genders can be equally slobbish.

    I don't wish to train my husband any more than (I think) he wishes to train me. We both desire to compromise so that we can live peacefully in the same space.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 4:08 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • If by "training", you mean "making them change some of their ways to accommodate some of your habits/ways of living, and you would do the same because relationships are all about compromise", then no.

    Heel!
    itsmommalori

    Answer by itsmommalori at 9:33 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • What do u mean by training?
    BitsMom00

    Answer by BitsMom00 at 9:27 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Unless you are with a dog, then yeah there is something wrong with it. There are little things that you can help improve with your husband for example putting the toilet seat down after they use it but training? That doesn't sound good.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 9:27 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • "training the one you're with" implies a sense of superiority. in a relationship, both partners are equal. so yea, there's a lot wrong with training the one you're with.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:40 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • You two are really thinking about getting married? I'd wait until some of these things are worked out.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 4:04 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I agree with itsmommalori. If you are willing to change for your partner as well, then there is nothing wrong with it. If you think you are perfect in every way and want your partner to be the same, then find someone who already is. Marriage is about compromise. Both need to be willing to change or both stay exactly who they are.
    hotmama404

    Answer by hotmama404 at 9:46 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • it doesn't sound good but doesn't it need to be done?
    men are slobs! if i keep putting the toilet seat down, he will never learn

    if i say "it bothers me when you leave the toilet seat up" for example (it doesn't really bother me it's just an example)
    then he will continue to leave it up...and not take my words into consideration, so to train him would be to give him positive reinforcement when he does do it, and neg reinforcement when he doesn't...just like with kids

    it's not like at 18 you turn from boy to man, a lot of men have childish ways so...how do you deal?
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 9:48 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • right, phew, i am NOT perfect and def wiling to change :)
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 9:48 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I'm so happy my MIL did one thing right and taught my husband good things :D Like, putting the toilet seat down! My biggest irk with him is leaving his dirty clothing in the bathroom that is RIGHT NEXT TO the laundry room, LOL.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:48 PM on Jun. 12, 2011