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My husband is really strict

he hates it when my kids do something bad he wants to give them the worst puniment possible and everytime i try to talk to him he gets mad any advice by the way my kids are 17 months and 2 and 3 what punishment do you use and how would you talk to your husband about this>

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mommyoflogan23

Asked by mommyoflogan23 at 10:19 PM on Jun. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (118 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • i do the disiplining in this house usually a time out, spank or me yelling like a banchee!
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 10:20 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • They are still VERY YOUNG!!! Get him one of those Nanny 911 type books and look at it together. If h won't read it, sit by him and read it, reading things that are relevant out loud to him!! They are too young for any more then a like 3-4 minute timeout, or loosing a toy for a few hours.

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:23 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Its important for you both to be on the same page somewhat with discipline especially in front of the children as they get a bit older, sounds like you have to have a serious conversation with him about it alone when the kids are not around and see if you can come to some kind of agreement when it comes to discipline, something you can both work with and come together united in front of the children, I would explain this is a real concern to you and that you have to get it sorted now as the 3 year old would already be getting the jist that you arent together on this.
    They are so young what type of discipline is he enforcing on them that you dont agree with? I have a 3.5 year old and her main form of discipline is time out, thats because thats what works best for her, she hates it, so its effective, but each child is different, its trial and error as to what works.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:26 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Punishment is the least effective way to change a behavior. Instead you should replace the negative behavior by teaching a new appropriate behavior. For instance if your two year old writes on the wall, teach them instead to write on paper. Everytime the two year old writes on paper, use positive reinforcement to reward the behavior (hug, high five, piece of candy, sticker, etc). You will notice the negative behavior less and less and the postive behavior will increase. I would get a book about behavior management and share it with your husband. Explain to him that helping them replace the negative behavior with a positive behavior will modify the way your children act, even when you are not looking.
    nacoledawn

    Answer by nacoledawn at 10:35 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • If you disagree do it just the two of you... kids will pick up on this then you'll have issues. Talk over punishment guidelines and try to both give some if you can.... but not when kids are being bad... maybe after the kids are to bed. Everyone has a opinion on how to raise your kids... but your the ones responsible for them so be fair.. don't go overboard... be firm... no means no... and be routine/consistent... don't give in just because ______ (tired, in public, so one). Do your best.... you'll make some mistakes we all do! Try to always be on the same page.
    Mommy_Aiken

    Answer by Mommy_Aiken at 10:47 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • He needs to understand the kids are still young, and that they are going to act up, make mistakes and not be 'perfect' all of the time. I would suggest the 2 of you talk about this and both of you come to an agreement on what discipline methods will be used. It might be a good idea for him to take a parenting class, or read a few books on child behavior/discipline. He needs to give up on 'the worst punishment ever' idea and find a punishment method that would work for little ones. (like a time out).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:11 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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