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Suicide Question

Has anyone ever dealt with a SO that threatened suicide? I am so torn because I honestly believe it’s a deflection technique that removes the focus of a problem from them and passes the guilt back to me. And although I’d like to call their bluff.. this is a person who has attempted a couple of times in his past (prior to him & I being together). What do you do? What do you say?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • You let trained professionls handle it. If he's serious he needs to get help and a brief vist to CHPS or your local crisis intervention center for an evaluation won't hurt him. If it's not serious, they'll call his bluff for you if it is he'll get the help he needs. My ex used to do this to me all the time and it was to make me feel horrible for being mad he lied to me. I called the police and told them he ws threatening himself. They took it from there. It was the best thing I could've done for him. ANd staying away from him was the best thign I could for me.
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 2:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • That's a tough one. My husband has never done that or even mentioned it, but his father took his own life when my husband was 15. So at times when I think he may be depressed, I get concerned.
    Sorry I can't offer any advice, but I think I would take every threat seriously. Especially if he has attempted it before. You can always have him committed for a psych evaluation, depending on the laws in your state. Good luck.
    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 3:00 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Particular since he has attemtped it in the past, you need to consult a professional.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 3:00 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • in my first marriage, he had back surgery and couldn't work.He kept threatening me with him "offing" himself.We had other problems before this point.I finally got tired of it and told him to either do it or shut up about it, He stopped saying it to me and got a girlfriend.We didn't stay married much longer after that.I don't know how that helps you.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:01 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Even if it is a bluff, call the medical authorities in your area immediately. Any threat of suicide should be treated as serious. My ex did this to me once, so I understand where youre coming from as far as it being a load of BS. However, I would treat it as though it was a stranger threatening to commit suicide. Then, if it is a load of bull, that person will see the seriousness in this type of threat and not treat it like its a barter to use against you.
    kirstanbrown

    Answer by kirstanbrown at 3:02 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Call 911 immediately when he says this. My ex husband once threatened suicide, he told me the kids and I would be better off without him because he was a shitty father and a horrible husband. He said he'd hurt me too much, that he couldn't look at me without thinking of all the times he'd made me cry or the pain he'd see in my face and of course he was drunk when this happened but I called 911 immediately and that snapped him out of it. They wouldn't even let him walk out of the hospital to smoke a cigarette until someone from psych cleared him which took 19 hours. He behaved himself for awhile after that but eventually cheated again and we've been apart for almost 2 years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Usually if they are serious they don't say anything at all because they don't want to be stopped. My opinion, and I'm no professional, is that he's just trying to get attention. When someone is serious about committing suicide the signs are totally different. They are obviously depressed, they don't say anything about killing themselves and they give their most prized possessions away. But like other mom's have said, if he says it again, do call 911. He needs to know that isn't cool and it won't be taken lightly. Have him admitted into a psych ward for a 72 hour watch.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 3:22 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I agree with all the moms who say it should be taken seriously. I had a friend who I never thought would hurt herself hang herself in February. I felt guilty because I thought that maybe I missed something our could have helped her more. Get him some help before it's too late. Don't be afraid; you'll be saving his life.
    I wish you so much luck with this.
    Jerseymom1228

    Answer by Jerseymom1228 at 3:29 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Please get him some help - especially if you have children. If a child loses a parent it always bad but especially if they take their own life a child can feel as if the parent didn't love them enough to want to be around.
    CourtneyAnn8690

    Answer by CourtneyAnn8690 at 3:50 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

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