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How young is too young for a funeral?

My ex has pancreatic cancer and not really sure how long he has. But I know eventually what is going to happen. My dd with him is 7 and has only known him for the past 2 yrs. She calls him by his first name. I do not think I want to take her to his funeral and I don't think his mom will be in an emotional state that my dd should be around. Would it be ok for her not to go?

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treynlisa

Asked by treynlisa at 11:19 PM on Jun. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,618 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think so. But be prepared for his family to be upset with you for not bringing/allowing her to go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Thankfully I don't ever see any of them anyway.
    treynlisa

    Comment by treynlisa (original poster) at 11:22 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I personally think 7 is too young to go to a funeral. Although my friend let her daugher attend her dad's funeral when she was 4 year old. I guess it depends on the maturity of the child and the closeness to that parent. Don't even think twice about what others will think about your decision. This is your child and it's your decision... you know her the best and you know what's best for her.
    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 11:29 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I really think his passing won't be traumatic for her but seeing her grandmother very upset might be.
    treynlisa

    Comment by treynlisa (original poster) at 11:33 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • If she was more attached I would say she needs the closure. As it is, it may be worse for her to go.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 11:44 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • From the 7 year olds that I know, they may be able to decide on their own if they want to go or not.

    I know for me, if we have a death in the family my children will attend the funeral as well. It may be hard, but we deal with things as a family.
    kmqw229

    Answer by kmqw229 at 11:59 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I think Children should experience funerals IMO because I know when my grandpa died my aunt didnt let my cousins go in and they were messed up from it, because years later when my grandma died they were adults and couldnt handle it. I think they need closure. And this is her father, She should go to get closure reguardless of how close they are.
    angelrach86

    Answer by angelrach86 at 12:14 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Ask her if she wants to go. I went to a great grandma's funeral when I was 3 1/2(heck I sang at it with the other kids) so I don't think that she's to young but if you really think that she can't handle it.
    lizziebreath

    Answer by lizziebreath at 12:19 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Yes it is ok for her not to go. However, I think she should be asked if she wants to go. I also do not believe any age is too young to go to a funeral. My oldest started going to funerals when he was just 4 months old.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:19 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • im 38 and have never been to one so i wouldnt take my kids to one
    rinamomof2

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 8:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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