My husband recieved sole custody of his two sons from his second marriage, three years ago. We have been married 5 years and have two little boys together. My stepsons were molested while with their mother and therefore, cannot have any physical contact with her or her older son until they are 17. Right now, they are 11 and 8. My husband is an over the road truck driver and can sometimes be away from home for a couple months, so raising the children is on my shoulders. I work very hard to make sure all four children feel as one family. They are all in sports, tae kwon do and attend all school functions. My stepsons call my mom and siblings grandma, aunt and uncles. I am called simply by my name. They want for nothing except their mothers attention. She contacted them twice last year to reming them of her birthday and Mothers day. She has only called once this year so they could wish her a happy birthday. They know she doesn't and hasn't called because the caller i.d. shows up on the television.
In te past 2 months, the older of my two stepsons has started bullying kids in school and his brothers at home. I have dealt with this by talking to him about these issues and the consequenes of his actions. I gave him an opportunity to redeem himself, warnig that if he does it again, he would face the consequences.
Last week, 3 parents came to me to discuss my stepsons bullying of their children and blatant disrespect towards them. I asked them to follow through with the principle on this matter. In turn, my stepson recieved in-school suspension. He no longer has a cell phone and no longer participates in team activitie. He was told, in advance, that these things would be taken from him if he continued with his actions.
Today, he asked if my 3 and 4 year old could play on the trampoline with him. Within 20 minutes, my neighbor knocked on my door and informed me that he was hitting my children and calling them names.
If I whip him, I risk the stability of my home. I cannot sacrifice for this child any longer. He has crossed the boundries. Yes he is in counceling. Has been for 3 years. He is an all A student and normally gets along with everyone. He told me when we last spoke about he much he hated his little brother(the 8 year old) because he was really good at sports. I pointed out that he (11 yr old) was wonderful academiclly That made him smile instead of cry but he went on to say how stupid his little brother was.
When he was with his mom, before we got custody, he did whatever he wanted. he was 50lbs overweight and failing in school. His teeth were rotting out of his head and he smelled horribly. I have devoted these three years to teaching them how take care of themselves and the importance of a good education.
I am at a loss on this. I need serious advice on how to deal with this.
Answer by mellynoma at 2:14 AM on Jun. 13, 2011
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:34 AM on Jun. 13, 2011
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:35 AM on Jun. 13, 2011
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