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2 Bumps

Im really hurt, vent

i had a great time tonight. i don't think this one comment ruined the night, but it sure hurt my feelings. SO basically said he wished i didn't love him so much. on top of that he said he wants me to take up different hobbies. i pulled out all my scrapbook stuff, showed him the book im publishing, all the poems i wrote and professional photography photos that i developed myself in a dark room. is that not enough. plus i payed piano for ten years and im just taking a break. but is that not enough for him or what, it's like he forgot. he made me feel so worthless like im a boring individual. it hurt my deeply. it turned him on once i showed him all my accomplishments but wow is that what i am to him? he wants me to be constantly busy and never home. but im a home body! i do all my crafts at home. he said he rather me do photography. i just took a break from it jeese! i even woodcarved today for god sake. im a in the wrong here, or is he? how do i accept this!

Answer Question
 
lizzybee44

Asked by lizzybee44 at 6:41 AM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,681 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Why is he telling you this stuff for. Is he controlling you in a way. Or just telling you how he feels about your hobbies.
    If it was me I would tell him to stick his oppinions up his ass.
    Who is HE? DH or SO?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:51 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I was wondering how serious you guys are? sounds to me like he is trying to get rid of you and purposely make you feel like crap about yourself, so i am not sure if he is controlling or trying to say something else to you.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 7:23 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • In your shoes I'd be questioning where this is coming from. Is he hinting that you're smothering him & should only focus on hobbies that require you to be out of the house? It seems like he was either beating around the bush with that issue or he's way too concerned with your hobbies. All that should matter is that they make you happy.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 7:25 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Sounds like he might just want some time around the house alone himself........ Maybe if you took a girl's night out every couple of weeks, or something to give him some down time. You sound like an interesting person to me, could be that he just can't relate to your hobbies and wants you guys to have something you're both interested in, If that's not the problem, IDK, maybe he's just being a jerk.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 7:44 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • It sounds like you really need to not put so much focus on what he says or thinks. Be an independent person and not worry so much about his negative input into your life. If you are not doing anything unlawful or morally wrong, then he should be supportive of your interests & hobbies. That is what YOU like to do! While the opinions of our spouses or s/o's do matter, if they are being degrading or irrational about it, then they are the one w/the problem and need to make some major changes! Best wishes!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 10:14 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • i like how in the next post someone says "take the high road, let it go"
    im over what he said but NOT over the fact that he is a rude person
    he's my SO we been together 4 years, marriage is not the first thing on our to-do list
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 11:55 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I wouldn't be hurt by what he said, but it would make me stop and think about continuing any kind of a relationship with him. He thinks you love him too much? That makes no kind of sense whatsoever. My husband and I have been married for more than 46 years, and he has never once told me he thought I loved him too much. That's a ridiculous thing to say. I would seriously wonder if he wanted me to have other interests besides him because he is perhaps thinking of going somewhere else? And he doesn't want me to be too strung out when he does? If I have many other things to amuse myself, maybe I won't be too upset when he departs. Something about this does not smell right to me, and I don't think it's that he wants you to be a more well rounded person. I'd be preparing myself for his departure.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:07 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • yea that sounds about right
    when i said i don't want him living with me in the Fall, he said but he loves it here...so i dunno
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 3:32 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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