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I am 19 and this is my life; could you handle living my life?(long) adult content

i will first start by saying that i felt so inspired by your story that i wanted to tell mines. although i dont know you name but you have help healed me in some way

 i know how you feel and i understand where you are coming from its like we have lived the same life I'm from NC but was raised in Ohio.....but my sisters lived with my grand mother and had a good life. i stayed with my mother and my mother like you father put her man before me i remember going to homeless shelter's and being at different guys homes with my mother all of the time......we lived with my aunt for some time as well and i had an old cousin who had just got out of jail i was only maybe 8 or 9 the family left me there by myself with him and i was laying on the bed looking at tv he came in the room i tried to play like i was sleep but he touched me he took my child hood from me it took me years to come out and tell because i was so scared of him and i didn't think anyone would believe my story but I've been abused and molested my whole life by family and my moms boyfriends the crazy thing about it is i have a very successful father his was retired military and also a computer tec and well known business owner but i to hated him for what he did to my mother he use to beat her as a child i would try to protect my mother. i have been raped and beat multiple times at the age of 13 i became pregnant not at own my will but because i was drugged and as i layed there helpess he took it he use to slap me and punch me and called me names made me feel worthless the father of my son was at the time 20 which i never knew he is 25 now my mom use to beat me up until i was 7 months pregnant i remember feeling alone and lost having to walk to my doctors appointments in the rain by my self when my son was born i felt like i had someone to love i was happy but that joy was short lived.............my mom once again put love before me and her so said i could stay but my son was not allowed so i found myself spending days walk the street with my new born child sleeping on park benches with no where to go his dad did not want to claim him but i still kept pushing my mom met this guy and we went to stay with him but he was a woman beater and did drugs one day my mom left walking and never came back i cried for her but i only saw her vanishing up the road i stayed i was there with my son during the day time i walked the streets but at night me and my child slept in a make shift room it was ok until one day i was about to leave and he rushed to lock the door and he started doing drugs in my face and touched me while my son was there i start crying and begged him to stop he choked me and told me if i ever told he would kill me that same day i left and never turned back i ask my sister if i could stay with her she told me only for two days then i told my mother but she didn't want me my mom gave up her rights to me and my son and sent us into foster care where my son was abused and i could not do anything about it because they dont normally put mother and child together but i got lucky enough to be able to stay with my son our foster mom used to beat my son every night i layed in a dark room listening to him cry and could not do anything about it during my time there i had a dna test done for my child and his dad i knew he was the father but he disowned him the results came back 99.99999999% he was the farther they ordered him to pay $102.00 a month which he never paid now almost 5 years later he owes thousands of dollars that was my life and sad to say i just turned 19 this year but god made a way in my life my son is now 4 going on five i went back to school and i met the man of my dreams i am engaged now and my fiance loves my son just as much as he love me i am happy and loved for the first time in my life......there is way more in my past to put it to words i would have to write a book just to tell my life story

Answer Question
 
mz_mcalister19

Asked by mz_mcalister19 at 8:46 AM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • wow. i am happy u are in a better place now. it's too bad the things u and your son has gone through. May God be with u always. U are an amazing survivor.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 8:51 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • thank you so much
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:02 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Momma your story brought tears to my eyes, you sound like a sweet girl that just wanted to feel safe and loved, I command you for being able to over come all of this and finally sounds like you are happy , I hope the rest of your life is happy and you deserve it after all you have been through....
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 9:24 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • i really am happy for the first time in my life i feel complete and it has made me wise for my age and i treat everyone with kindness because no one could i ever guess that ive been through so much so i open my heart because someone may have it worse than i did and if i didnt know who that person was i still would give everything that i could to give someone the help i was never given but hay im living now.
    mz_mcalister19

    Comment by mz_mcalister19 (original poster) at 9:35 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • You ma dear are the true def. of a strong woman. All that bullshit an you still kept going...this is such a sad story but the outcome was more then terrific. Im sooo happy that u are finally loved and happy. You and ur child deserve nothing but the best....Good luck mama.!! <3
    Nathonsmama

    Answer by Nathonsmama at 9:58 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I met one of my very best friends right here on CafeMom who told a similar story to yours. Bless you for all you've been through! My friend is 40 now, is married w/3 beautiful children and is giving her children what she never had. Stability & unconditional love! You can too, sweetie! Move beyond your past. You can't forget, but you can certainly forgive! It is SO unfair that some children are born to parents that should have never been parents in the first place and God knows what you've been through and he is JUST! There is a special crown for you in heaven. Take what you've been through a be a much better person for it! Help others that may be placed in your path! You will be rewarded someday!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 10:01 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • thanks for your kind words
    mz_mcalister19

    Comment by mz_mcalister19 (original poster) at 10:04 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Wow!! What a great survivor.I wish you hope & happiness in every aspect of your life!!
    robin2708

    Answer by robin2708 at 11:35 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • you have went through so much and i wish u and your son the best bc god knows you deserve every last bit of happiness. I hope u will share some of your life stories and knowledge with me.:) God knows i have been through alot but omg i could never imagine to hear my son in pain.......just thinking about it breaks my heart into little peices. :( Its terrible ur son had to go through that too i really hope he is ok and grows up to be a strong , loving, caring man and i am very glad u have a positive man he can look up to. Even if u didnt u are all he would know and need and im sure u would have helped him grow up positive too :) You are a very strong woman. And i know that it is hard to get over.....i have been through alot to but not as nearley as bad as u and some people cant get over stuff like that idk if it is possible to but u have to be a very strong intelligent woman by this, and i wish u and ur son the best :) ssl
    renah164

    Answer by renah164 at 12:16 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Im just happy u r in a better better place
    Macibear123

    Answer by Macibear123 at 12:36 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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