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Why didn't I say yes, I want a divorce?

I finally had it out with my DH. I have been holding back and taking the backlash from him this whole time and then last night I did a reverse. I got so fed up with being blamed and told I'm lazy and not willing to do anything to help us. I take care of my DD, I have done everything he has reasonably asked me to do regarding getting our delivery business going. He sits around and plays games and then sleeps until 1-2pm everyday. He has been telling me I am not acting like I want to do the business and that I lay around and watch tv shows all the time. First off, I only watch tv shows at night when she is in bed asleep and then I don't stay up late, I go to bed b/c I know I have to get up in the morning and take care of her. Of course he made a face at that, b/c he knew I was right. He has slacked too long. I mean how lazy is it when I put in for part time jobs for HIM? He was too damn lazy to do it himself. Then he woke our DD up and argued with me for an hour in her bedroom. Then he asked if I wanted out of our marriage. I never said anything. I wish I had said yes. Then I kept getting badgered about how horrible I am as a person. Then I told him how other people view him, that he is an asshole. Many, many people have told me this, and I even gave him specifics. All he could do is lay there and say, "yeah I know people think I'm an ass at first, but I don't care what they think, and they are just losers". Who the hell did I marry? Why couldn't I have said yes, I want out? Maybe part of me fears if I leave, what he will do to me, regarding our DD.

 
EternalDiesirae

Asked by EternalDiesirae at 10:08 AM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (244 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Yeah... sounds like it's over. I'd leave at this point. No need to drag it out until you cannot be civil about it. Tell him yes, you do want out of your marriage and tell him why, and then find a place to stay (or tell him to leave).

    I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this :( Good luck, mama.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:20 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Trust me, he isn't going to want the kid. My ex was an ass like that too.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:21 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Counseling?
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:11 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • He only sees me as the problem. I have asked for counseling for years now. He will not go. He thinks its all because I am fat. That my weight is the problem for everything in our lives and if I would "just listen to him" then everything would be as it should and I won't be talked to like a 5 yr old.
    EternalDiesirae

    Comment by EternalDiesirae (original poster) at 10:13 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • If you have somewhere to go, take your daughter and leave. That may make him change his tune when he sees what he has to lose, and that you aren't afraid to do it. He brought up the "d" word, so he's thinking about it, too.

    As a father, he has rights. He has rights to visitation and to pay child support. What do you fear that he will do to you? It sounds like you are a good mom. Your daughter doesn't need to see her father treating her mother this way. She will end up with a dude just like him. You have been emotionally abused and do not deserve this. Good luck!!
    Evie3

    Answer by Evie3 at 10:15 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I have yelled at my DD, when he is yelling at me. I don't like to do it, b/c I love her very much and she doesn't deserve it. Then he uses it against me. I am not a perfect mom, and I hate myself everyday b/c I have yelled at her. I also went through postpartum depression and actually thought he was there for me, and told him what was on my mind. I didn't want to hurt her, but just leave, b/c I thought I was doing everything wrong as a first time mom. Now, I have to live with being threatened, even though I have never done anything to her. I also try not to get upset and yell around her anymore. She now reacts to him yelling at me, by screaming, and she is only 10 months. This is not good for her.
    EternalDiesirae

    Comment by EternalDiesirae (original poster) at 10:19 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • End it do it for your DD that environment is not good for her, she is better off with her parents apart then together & constantly fighting, not healthy at all, don't fear anything he can not take your DD from you unless your a drug addict, abuse your DD or your DD is in any type of danger with you & he has to have proof, so don't worry about his stupid threats, take your little girl & get out ASAP or kick him out.

    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 10:34 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • You need to leave this bad situation before it gets worse. Just go. Be it a families house, friends couch, or even a shelter; any of these options are better than where you're at now. If you can't do it for yourself than do it for your child.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 11:11 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I hope you can find the strength to get out, the situation will only get worse. Speaking from experience of hoping things will get better. I understand your story all to well and have lived it for many years.
    mom-2-4boys

    Answer by mom-2-4boys at 12:07 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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