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Fiance's family won't accept my son...

I am a young mom ( 19 ) ... But I am a great mom, I take wonderful care of my daughter, and I even have a good career ( I am planning on buying a house within the next year ) ... This should be the things that my fiance's family look at ( they could also look at how I am nice, friendly, willing to do anything for anyone and treat their son very well ) ... but that isn't how it is...

They have said he is too young, and that a child would just ruin his life - therefore my daughter couldnt possibly be his... and even using the fact that she was a preemie against me saying she really was on time, but I changed the dates so he would think this is his baby.

well first of all, he is 23 years old ! he is a grown man, he has a good job and he loves being a daddy .... To say i am only trying to " stick him with this baby" is for money, is silly , as i make more money than he does.

second of all, my daughter was a preemie... she was born the day I turned 33 weeks and she was 4 pounds 9 oz.... At the hospital she was refered to as a preemie, she even had to have extra tests done because she WAS a preemie ... Also we were together for a long time before I even got pregnant... and I have never cheated on him, so it still wouldnt matter if I had her months before that...

it just makes me so angry, his family could be apart of this wonderful time, instead they try to get my fiance to live a life that he doesnt even want to live ( he has 3 brothers who all party and have children that they dont take care of... my fiance talks about how he has never wanted that kind of life - he wants to be a very active dad and have a family life, he even wants to go back to school so he can be a elementary school teacher )...

It is parents like his that make it so easy for there to be so many deadbeat fathers out there and I just cant believe that they dont want to know their beautiful grandaughter !

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Can you do a paternity test just to shut them up?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • My fiance said he doesnt even want to bother wasting that money because he knows the truth...

    Also.. i just realized the title is messed up lol... bad play on words...it was suppose to say wont accept my daughter
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:34 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Jerks. Ignore them. They will either come around or not, and if they never do, you don't have to be around them. I would tell them in no uncertain terms that hey, this kid is his, it's his choice to stay with me, and nothing you say is going to change it. And then I would stop talking to them and ask that my fiance only sees them when necessary. And then get married. Don't be one of those couples who is engaged forever. Getting married will show them that he really is serious and this really is a long haul relationship, not just a fling.

    I'm sorry. In-laws suck sometimes.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:35 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • If he accepts her, then I wouldn't worry about what his family thinks. They may never like you, but they will have to get used to you. But take into consideration that they are just protecting THEIR baby. Maybe they don't want to get attached and end up losing a grandchild. Maybe they have heard rumors about you (not saying they are true) and they are in protective mode. Just continue to live your lives and be polite, then they will not be justified in disliking you. BTW, in my opinion, 19 is really young to get married.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 10:36 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Just to clear this a little...the title says "son", but I am assuming you meant "daughter".

    It sounds like your fiance loves you and his daughter. That is what is important. If he is not denying her, if he wants to be in you two's lives, then just continue to love him back and start your great family and prove to his parents that he is an adult and knows what he's doing. Age is only a number. Maturity is a different thing in itself.
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 10:37 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • we are getting married in September... we were going to get married before the baby came, but I got pregnant and knew I wouldnt fit into my dress lol... so we had to postpone it
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:37 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Really, when all is said and done, the ball is in his court. He will either choose you and his child or his family. If DNA would shut them up it would be worth the cost. Even if they accept he's the father if they are prepared to just not accept you you can't change it. They will say you trapped him on purpose or some other such thing. You have tried and they have failed to accept. So move on. Either your S/O comes with or he won't. It's time to leave the drama behind.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:37 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I would get a paternity test anyway, just to show them forever they are stupid! I think your problem here may be your fiance? What does he say to them when they start all of this? These people are going to be in your life forever, so I would go and have a long talk with his mom, paternity test in hand.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:46 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • My fiance says that it is their problem if they do not want to be in our family's life.... I know he is hurt but he tries to say it doesnt btoher him if we just see them at Christmas and stuff....

    he already wasnt talking to his brothers because of how they are, but I think it is just because that is his mom, he is upset over it...

    Also i dont think it is just me that they dont like, because they did this to all of the mothers and children of his brothers too.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:50 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Have fun marrying into this. Its hard enough when everything is "good".
    Dabberdoo

    Answer by Dabberdoo at 10:59 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

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