Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I end it for good or stick around to help him through hard times even though he doesn't want to be with me?

Me and my ex are starting to get along better but at the same time, he is bringing me down with him. I don't know what we are doing and if we are trying to get back together. We have talked about it but he has never told me what his decision is. He is always depressed and in a way, he is very selfish. He has admitted to putting himself first and that you should'nt have to put anyone else first. I don't know what he expects from me but I am not going to put myself in the position to feel like I have to make him happy because he is so depressed. I don't think he wants to be with me and I don't want to be used for his satifaction. He is very sweet to me at work but then he brings me down with his depressing feel sorry for me e-mails at night. I don't know what to do anymore.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Sounds like you are an enabling presence in his life. I don't mean that as a knock on you. It happens out of love and the best of intentions. But I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd call it quits. I'd let him know that I love him and am concerned about him, but unless he can pull himself together to a point where he can be considerate and giving to others, then there is no room in his life for you. Sticking by his side may actually hinder him, since it seems like you are someone who he feels comfortable wallowing in his misery with. If 6 months down the road he is in a much better place and wants to try again, fantastic.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 4:31 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • awww im so sorry but i would leave hun all he is doing is running you down for his problems which you don't need 2 deal with

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 4:30 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Try to bring up ya'll relationship and see if he is wanting to get back together and tell him your here for him but it is beginning to hurt you having to listen to him whine about his problems.

    Answer by CourtneyAnn8690 at 4:31 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • dont let him bring u down, if ur smart ull let go. but hell what do i no. see ifhe ever feels sory 4 u .if he dont send him on hes way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Do you still love him? Do you want to be with him?? Or are you just feeling obligated? You mentioned "hard times"....

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:34 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I had a relationship like this. He was good to me, but HE came first. After heart surgery, and my spending every day and every waking hour at his side, I asked him later what our relationship meant. He said, "All I care about now is getting well and nothing more". Well, if one is in a live/die situation, then what they should want is someone by their side. An egocentric (self-centered) person is not like this. So, if this man wants you to 'comfort' him and yet not give back, and not to mention that he is negative, he will bring you down. He will bring you down to his level. Hope this helps.

    Answer by freespirit44 at 4:36 PM on Dec. 11, 2008