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2 Bumps

Major crush on another man....

I have this co worker that I have a BIG crush on. We are both married and he has a one year old daughter and I have a 3 year old daughter. He works at our home office so I only see him once or twice a month but when I do see him I get these crazy butterflies. Anyway when he comes in the office he flirts with me a lot. He knows I like him and he says he likes me and we have had very provocative conversations via email. After emailing for about a week he said he no longer wanted to email because he was paranoid about his wife which I understand. He doesn't have my cellphone number and doesn't email but he will call me at work a couple times a week. I know things won't get physical because of how paranoid he is. Anyway I kind of feel guilty about talking to him but then I look at it and see that I only have one life to live and I don't want to have any regrets. Theres something about him that intrigues me. He is sexy and successful. He has a lot of tattoos which I love and his penis pierced (no, i haven't seen it) which I'm fascinated by. My husband is sexy but he is unemployed hates tattoos and piercings and we are in a rut. Should I continue talking to him since it's just talk and I know nothing will ever get physical?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • how do you know nothing will ever happen ?
    never say never

    Answer by letstalk747 at 1:26 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Girl, I think you already know the answer to this questions. :)

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 1:27 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Girl... You're playing with fire! I understand you can't control a crush but you can control your actions and you need to avoid this man like the plague. Think about the consequences and the regret you will have. In my opinion, you've already cheated. My definition of cheating is crossing a line that you wouldn't want your s/o to cross.

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 1:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • how would you feel if the situation were reversed and it were your hubby doing this? Is this man worth breaking up your home over? Probably not. Its normal to get crushes...but you two have taken it way to far. Even the emails and phone calls are inappropriate. I think, you need to cut all ties, and maybe he needs to find a new job.

    Answer by Tarrar at 1:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • There is no point in continuing to flirt with danger in this situation..unless you plan on getting a divorce, hurting your husband, hurting that mans wife, hurting that mans child and your child. Its normal to feel attracted to someone outside of your marriage from time to time..but you have to stay strong enough to ignore those feelings. Imagine how you would feel if your husband was doingthe same. You have a family, hunny. They come first. I would stop the silliness all together. Good Luck.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • If you keep talking he will find a way to get physical. And this is an emotional affair.

    Instead of putting your energy into your relationship with this guy, I think you should put your energy into fixing things iwth your husband. I know how you feel, but the grass is rarely actually as green as it looks over there. It's fun to feel wanted and interesting. But what's NOT fun is divorce and custody battles and being all alone because this guy will dump you like a bad habit the minute things get rough.

    Focus on fixing your marriage and stop seeing this guy on anything but a professional plane. Don't do it, I know it's tempting, but it's not worth it.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:29 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • No, you should not keep talking to him. Say something did happen, you blow what you had and you may or may not end up with him. If you do end up with him what do you got? A man that has cheated on his wife/ mother of his child and will do it to you too. Furthermore, if the only reason you don't see things happening is because he is paranoid, your marriage is in more than a rut. Focus on that and leave the hottie alone.

    Answer by Jessica157 at 1:30 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • These do not sound like the actions of a committed person. You should focus on getting your own marriage out of its rut, not on how entertained you might be by another man. Where are your priorities?

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 1:30 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • You should feel bad... you are having an emotional affair. How fair is that to your husband?? How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot?

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:32 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • i was recently in the same situation my bf of 6 years and i have 2 children together and i got scared he would find my messages to a man who had interet in me i just kept ending it because i didnt trust him and didnt think we would last and i want my children to have their father in their life for me to always see becuase he is a great father. its deffinetly not worth it to leave him or continue to have any type of relationship with him if the man you are with is worth being with he will not forgive you if he finds out and things could end badly.

    Answer by n8nnickmom at 1:35 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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