Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

This puts me in a weird position... (family friend and racism) *LOOOONG*

When I was growing up we had a family friend who had 2 daughter a bit younger than me. They grew up as my 'sisters'. As we have gotten older we have lost touch to an extent. I mean we don't 'hang out' any more. My mother and there mother still have a relationship. My mom is home bound and only has her... Anyway. One of the woman daughter is now dating a black man. The family has basically turned on her. They threw her out of the house nad told her if she married this man they would not have anything to do with it and it they ever had children that the abominations (yes abominations) would not be there grand children. Here is my problem My mother, though she doesn't agree is still friend with this woman, she is trying to convince her that this is not a good thing to do to her child and that it is not how Christians (as this woman has always claimed to be) act. I on the other hand want NOTHING to do with this family other than the one girl who has been ostracized from her family. If I un-friend my mother friend on face book I am afraid it will cause problems for her and her friendship BUT I also don't want to associate myself with such hatred. I 100% support her daughter who is with a kind and loving man. How do I make myself comfortable while not putting strains on my moms one friendship.... any idea?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • If you unfriend this woman, it shouldn't do anything to the relationship that she and your mom has. She of all people should know how a daughter acts is not a reflection on the mother. She needs more people like you disassociating so she can start to see how ridiculous she is. Go ahead, unfriend her. And if anyone asks why, tell them. You don't want to be associated with people who carry around so much hatred and act way differently than a self proclaim Christian should. Tell her directly to her face if you have to.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 1:50 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Unfriend her. If it causes trouble with your mom, that's for your mom to handle.

    Facebook is nothing that important, really.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:00 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I would take the "wait and see" approach. My mom and her sister ran away to be with black men in their teens. They both got pregnant a few years later. I was born looking white(my father was mixed), my cousin was born with the mixed coloring. At the time our grandmother wanted my aunt to give her my cousin to raise because she didn't want people to know she had a black child. My grandfather was also very racist at the time. But this with time all blew over. Neither my aunt nor my mother ended up staying with our fathers but that has more to do with them being so young when the relationships began than anything else. And my cousin is by far the favorite grandchild.
    Babies have aknack for winning people's hearts. Support your friendbut wait to pass judgemnt on her mother. Maybe your mom will be able to bring her around. Give her a chance to grow into a better more accepting person
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 2:29 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • who cares if she is on your facebook, its not you have to acknowledge her all the time. unless you do talk alot on FB, then i would defriend her. how would she know that you defriended her because of what they did to their daughter. to be honest that is their business on how they handled the issue, it has nothing to do with you.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 4:34 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.