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2 Bumps

How do you tell someone theyre not capable of being a parent?? adult content

ok so...heres the story...

one of my friends is pregnant with her second child...that would be great for her if she was capable of being a parent period. her son is 2 1/2 and is horrible. she does not discipline at all. he hits, shoves, pinches, spits in peoples faces. he recently threw a rock at my 3 year olds head so i told her i will not be bringing my son around hers anymore. now im 18 weeks pregnant (and married) i am no longer with the father of my son. she is dating someone new as well and they have only been together for 2 months. not only does he live with her and her son and she insists hes great with her son and hes really not but now shes pregnant. shes been telling me for the last month that they have unprotected sex and if she gets pregnant she is going to get an abortion...ive been yelling at her telling her to stop being irresponsible. and yet she calls me and says shes pregnant and having an abortion. i asked her if she was sure she wanted to do that (knowing it was the best option for her situation) and she was sure. she said she is not financially stable enough and she hates her boyfriend he annoys her and he has no money...now explain to me how she tells me friday that they decided to keep it and they will be getting married before the baby comes.

she is emotionally unstable, shes been on antidepressants since she was 12 years old. she is a horrible mother. i almost called CPS on her a few months ago because i found out she was doing drugs in her apt while her son was there. her and her bf are both drug addicts and alcoholics and ive made it clear to her that i will not be around it. i went months without speaking to her because of this and then i was under the impression she stopped. until 3 weeks ago she totalled her bfs car because she was drunk, on Xanax and soboxin (sp?)...friday night we went out to a resturant and our two NOT pregnant friends were drinking and she insisted on sharing a drink with one of them...and was legitimately mad when she said no. and snuck a drink anyways.

and heres another reason and im sorry if this sounds selfish or bitchy but its the truth. when i got pregnant with my son, i was engaged to my ex and we were living together, we had been together for 2 years. we semi planned getting pregnant...her and her bf had been together a year, were not engaged and not living together but she ended up pregnant...she later admitted that she stopped taking her BC pills on purpose. now our kids are 6 months apart. when her son was born she was a mess, she called me at all hours of the night because she couldnt handle the crying he was up every two hours she was broke from the diapers and formula...thats the life of a parent right? so how shes going to manage another idk. not to mention shes playing the "were best friends and pregnant together now our kids can be best friends and we can live next to each other" blah blah blah....sooo how do i say that i dont want to associate with her while shes pregnant and when she calls me and says she hates her bf and when the baby is born im not going to answer and let her use me to keep her sane when im a mother of a 3 year old...a military wife...will be a mother of a newborn and im working part time and going to school full time! she doesnt work or go to school her bf is a landscaper and only has a seasonal job and theyre broke as it is....im so annoyed and i want to tell her to stop being a dumb ass

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • CALL CPS. Right now. You might just save a child's life.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:55 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Wow.Thats crazy. :(
    Tell her just that "STOP BEING A DUMB ASS! "
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:56 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Let her see this post. Or tell her all you have told us. We get it, she will too. If not, her feelings will be so hurt she won't want to be friends with you anymore. Win-win, all around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • i dont want to stop being friends with her but if she has this baby i will stop speaking to her. it was goign to be hard enough to have my daughter in nov and i was going to have to tell her her son wasnt allowed around my children at all...but i really wont speak to her if she keeps the baby.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Tell her outright and tell her now what you will do if she does not take care of her business.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:05 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • you should call cps right now anyways, shes doing drungs and has a toddler now shes pregnant again and who knows what shes doing. Thats not the right setting for children, thats not the right environment for anyone!
    That kid of hers is probably gonna grow up to be a terrible person and who knows what.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 2:05 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I'm confused. You completely disapprove of her lifestyle & life choices, yet you don't want to stop being friends with her? Why not? She sounds toxic and you certainly don't need the extra stress in your own life right now. Oh, and yeah, call CPS before she ruins two more lives.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Call CPS. You can't make her change. They can and if she doesn't, they will take her children. It really is the right thing to do and it's anonymous.

    JSD24

    Answer by JSD24 at 2:07 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • "I don't want to stop being friend with her" - why the hell do you want to keep this woman in your life?

    Please call CPS.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 2:07 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • So she has been drinking and doing drugs while she is pregnant??? Doesnt she understand the effects they cause on an innocent precious baby?? How could she??? Im so sad, you need to call CPS and let them know the things that she is doing, also ask her what doctor she goes to and then call them and let them know that she is doing drugs...if they find drugs in her system at the hospital when she gives birth they WILL take her baby from her. When you do ask her what dr she goes to ask her like this "Hey what doctor are you going to use for this baby?" and ask for the name...look it up and CALL THEM !!!!
    Amberlovesher3

    Answer by Amberlovesher3 at 2:09 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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