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When do you get concerned? How old is beyond the scope of normal for a boy to "start" pottytraining?

Does anyone else have a 4 year old boy that has never sat on a potty or shown interest in training? When do you get concerned?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (11)
  • I say get concerned when it becomes a problem. Is he entering school that requires him to be potty trained?

    One of my nieces was like this. My sister had to really push her to train to get her into Kindergarten. She did it... barely. It's not the end of the world to have a late pottier :)

    Try the book "Potty Train Your Kid In Just One Day". A reward-based system might help.

    Sorry you're worried, mama, but without other symptoms of developmental delay, it sounds like he's just comfortable with what he's been doin' his whole life. If you want to push the issue, you can. He WILL learn to use the potty!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:43 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • My sister's step son was that way. But after a few months she was able to train him. I don't know how. My son is 4 1/2 (special needs) and he shows little interest but he will go. He knows when he goes and gets all excited when he does it on the potty. If you are worried about it, bring it up at his next drs appt.

    Answer by austinsmama1106 at 2:40 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • my cousin wasn't potty trained until he was nearly 6 BUT he is severely autistic and functions on a much lower level than most kids his age. Right now he is about 11 and he is functioning at a 4 yr old level.

    My DS is 2 1/2 and likes going potty. If this is your son I'd just start introducing him to it now.

    Answer by MumsTheWord571 at 2:48 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • My doctor always said there is no "normal" for potty training as long as they are trained before starting Kinder. My son is autistic and we trained at 3 1/2 and didn't bowel train until 4. Over Spring Break from school, I just decided it was time and I had him wear underwear all day everyday during the break. We barely left the house and I left it up to him where he went. We had his potty seat in the living room, he could move it to the bathroom or use the regular toilet, but putting on the pull ups wasn't a choice. There were a few accidents of course, but by the time he went back to school, he was potty trained. For bowel training, he would hold it all day until we put on the pull up at night. If we didn't put the pull up, he would still go in his underwear at night :( I was more patient with it and he just decided to go on the potty on his own one day. Be patient and encouraging. It will happen.

    Answer by CJM_SHM at 2:50 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • If you think he is having trouble with motor skills, get help asap. Early intervention is imporant. A great example is my own son. He was very delayed in speech and fine motors at the age of 2. Placed in an autism program at 3 and received a medical diagnosis at 4. Because of us being on top of it and realizing the delays at 2, he is now no longer delayed and functioining at an age appropriate level in everything. Except reading and math, which he is advanced in :) Please, don't be in denial and get help as quickly as you can.

    Answer by CJM_SHM at 2:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Sounds like he's not *that* delayed in motor skills. Potty learning IS a motor skill, though, so it might be connected. Talk to your son's doctor and see what he/she thinks. It doesn't sound that serious to me, though :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:59 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I think it just depends on where you are at with it. When I trained my son finally, it was more because I was just ready to do it. I took the week long and hid all his pull ups (so he could use them at night) and only gave him the choice of undies. If you aren't to that point yet, I wouldn't worry about it yet. Just keep reminding him its there and encouraging it.

    Answer by CJM_SHM at 4:44 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I think 3 is to dang long if the child is non special needs.

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 1:21 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • 4years is when they get concerned.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 4:57 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • He's been late on all of his motor milestones . .. .didn't walk until after 18 months, etc. Cognitive milestones have been fine, though . . . I was just wondering if this may be part of the same motor issue, or is it normal?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:48 PM on Jun. 13, 2011