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2 Bumps

Are we confusing our kids with this schedule?

Me and my soon to be ex husband just started living seperate. With the kids (2 & 4) we are going back and forth every day. Like this week goes: Monday: I pick them up from daycare and they stay with me. Tuesday: He gets em @ daycare and they stay with him... Wednesday, I get em. Thursday, he gets em. Friday, I get em. On Saturday, I'll drop them off at 12:00 noon and he'll bring them back to me Sunday at noon.

The reason we are doing it this way is because neither of us want to go more than a day without seeing them, and we've been a REALLY close knit family up until now. They're used to seeing both of us too and (especially the 4 yr old) starts missing the other parent almost immediately after leaving them. I'm just wondering what other parents think of this schedule and if anybody has suggestions on what we could do different and everybody still see each other often.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • I think ya'll are going to exhaust yourselves after awhile, but if it is working, go for it. You can change things as your lives change, your kids will adjust as needed. It sounds like you both are working together, and that is a positive thing. Good luck mama!

    Answer by Dahis at 2:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I have no idea if that is good or a bad schedule. i do think its great that you and your ex are working well together to put the kids first. Kinda makes me wonder why you are getting a divorce since you work well together..totally off topic i know, just made me curious.

    Answer by ria7 at 2:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I think its fine for now as long as thats whats working for all of you. Over time things will probably change..especially when they start school and life begins to change for you and dad in your seperate worlds and being apart becomes more normal for everyone.
    Your kids will be fine, as long as you are fine.
    Good Luck mama.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I think that as long as the kiddos seem ok and it's working, go with it. They'll let you know. My ex and I do the same thing, for the same reason.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 2:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • We are trying to work together for the kids, but we've been together for 9 years and we're only 25 and 28... we were fighting a lot and BOTH of us were stepping entirely too close to the cheating line. We shouldn't have stayed together as long as we did, but we've always been totally honest with each other & I still consider him one of my best friends. Just need something new on both sides.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:58 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I think you will find this hard to maintain over time, and it also gives more opportunities for issues to arise. There's a reason you're divorcing, after all. Though it seems to me that perhaps divorce is NOT the right answer for you?

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:58 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I am soon to be divored as well. I would love to move since no one around and family in the state of n.,c. so would have family. But husband wants me and him to trade the kids every other week but I think to much for them. All 3 are girls and ages 9,7 and 6 and I think to much change. I want them to be apart of their dads live as well but I was thinking holidays and a month in the summer so he could take them to ca to visit his family. But it is a big adjustment for all so do what is right for you and your kids. Can I ask and I hope you will write me back. My girls do not know yet since waiting to go to court on july 6th and if we can not decide will just have to let the judge decide. I want to know if okay how did you tell your kids and how did they take the news. I am worried about mine. But husband and I have just gone apart after 10 years of marriage. Hang in there and you will all make it though with time.

    Answer by momindiana at 3:06 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I think it is fine for now but if getting back together is not ever going to be an option then you may want to start stretching the time at each house bit by bit over time.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • My sister and Both her ex's have this awesome routine, my nieces are 15 and 6 and my nephew is 11 and my niece (15) and nephew(11) go to there dads every other week and stay with my sister on the other weeks they have been doing it for so long, and i believe they dont mind ne more.. They get 2 rooms 2 different rules, 2 of everything. there dad remarried and were in the wedding, my sister and her ex get a long great.. when there is a problem with work they work it out.. plus holidays..
    Now my sister and her ex husband have my other niece (6) and she totally understands it.. they talked to her about and they are on the same scheduale the week her brother and sister are at there dad she is also at hers so my sister doesnt favor one kid alone.. with ur kids being young and I dont think you might not wanna confuse them with being so close and then seperating.. maybe slowly make it more then just one day.. taake it gradually..

    Answer by Madilous08 at 4:01 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Even your weekends sound exhausting. Maybe you should switch off weekends? He gets one Friday till Sunday, you get the next Friday till Sunday. You can't do much together as a family from 12 to 12.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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