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How is this fair?

So I have been having a lot of problems with my parents and my middle sister. Well this past weekend was my sister's 18th birthday and my grandparents who live right down the street asked if they could take my toddler to the party. I said yes and they told me that they would send him to my mom's place after the party and pick him up on Sunday. I told them it was fine I am not going to hold my kids back from her. Well my grandma calls me this morning and said that my little sister is staying the summer with them (usually we take here for a week or 2 also to help her out) that my mom said she is not allowed to spend the night at our place now!! How is that fair?! I let my son spend the night at her place but my little sister can't spend the night at mine? After all the drama between my mom and I started with her lies and favoring my middle sister over me she is really going to act like that? I think I am going to stop sending my boys over at her house now. What to do you think?



Asked by momavanessa at 3:04 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,503 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • Be the bigger person. Someone has to make the 1st move & try to mend fences here before it gets even more out of hand. You know the old saying, would you rather be right, or be happy? Well, which is it? Denying your child(ren) access to their grandparents is a big mistake! I totally adored my grandparents & cherish the memories of time spent w/ them. They helped shape who I am today. Not having that kind of love in my life would've been a real shame. Hopefully you can work out your problems & learn to co-exist. At least for the kids' sakes. GL!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:13 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I think you should be the bigger person and not let your mothers pettiness stand in the way of your kids relationship with here, they need to form their own opinion. I also think ya'll need to have a good old fashioned family meeting and get some things aired out.

    Answer by Dahis at 3:10 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • that was her, not here

    Answer by Dahis at 3:11 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Honestly, this sounds like a whole lot of petty. I don't have time for that kind of drama.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 3:08 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • eye rollingHonestly, Then don't answer and move on next time!


    Comment by momavanessa (original poster) at 3:11 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Your little sister is 18 and can make her own decisions.

    Fair never has anything to do with anything in family arguments.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:15 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • as much as this "pisses" you off and you want to hold your children from her out of spite and you know it'll hurt her deeply,maybe you should re-think your idea.not to dominate your question with my long winded story but i was in a 15 year battle with my mom over something very that whole ordeal i managed to swallow alot more than my pride and she has got to see all 4 of my know,believe me i understand that in order to hurt her and to let her know your serious about whatever the fued maybe with you and your parents and sister,keeping the grandchildren away from her may not be the best solution.i've contemplated myself over the 15 years that my mother and i were going at it and at i point i actually did it for 6 brought her knees to the ground!i secretly loved how i was hurting her.i secretly loved that the pain she was feeling was the same pain that she had inflicted on me...until my eldest

    Answer by elzingah36 at 3:16 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • (i had a long reply.this is a continuance from my first)son eventualy brought my head out of my ass.all you'd be accomplishing his hurting your children.if your a good mother like i'm sure you are,you would do anything in your power not to hurt your children in any way.please allow your parents to continue to see your kids.there are other ways if you truly want to cause harm...which i hope to God you truly don' mother is sick with breast cancer,and even though her and i still don't speak to each other i'm still glad that i didn't keep my children away from her.

    Answer by elzingah36 at 3:20 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • First of all I didn't keep my kids away from my parents. I am the one that let him go to the party in the first place. Second she was the one who told my grandma that my sister was not allowed to come to MY house to stay the night. SHE is my sister and I love her. My mom is the one acting like a witch about it. So I am not going out of my way to bring my kids to her house anymore. If she wants to see them she will have to go to my grandma's house and I will take them there.

    Comment by momavanessa (original poster) at 9:18 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • My mistake - I thought you wanted peoples opinions rather than just looking for justification for your own petty response. I get it now:

    Of course you should never let your children stay with your mother again. It'll teach her a good lesson. It may even build family harmony and trust! Best of luck with that!!


    Answer by Dr.Donna at 3:18 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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