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4 Bumps

Are you serious?

I went to take a coffee with a very nice customer and new neighbor (man) for lunch nothing bad. My DH calls my work, My college says I'm out for lunch. I don't usually go out for lunch but that man was sweet and payed for it all. Anyways, my DH calls me on my cell phone yelling at me that he wants me at work even during lunchtime... I can't even breathe if he doesn't tell me I can almost. He's started to be jealous, possessive of me and a pain in the butt since I left for Quebec for 5 days and leaving him here. When I came back he said I went there to meet up with a man that he saw on my Facebook and all um and he's NOT the only guy I have from Quebec. Plus he knew I was meeting up with an old GIRL friend...

Answer Question
 
proudmom717

Asked by proudmom717 at 3:16 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (218 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • My husband would be pretty livid if I went out to lunch with any man.
    Eisleysmommy27

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 3:19 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • This is a sign of trouble. Abuse starts with possessiveness. Counseling at the minimum... although I would be dumping him already.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:19 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Lots of insecurites and control issues going on. Sounds like some therapy may be needed in the future. No way would my DH EVER demand something of me.........I would laugh him out the door.
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 3:21 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • While it's not okay for your husband to act controlling, I don't think it's respectful of your marriage to go out on a lunch date (he paid for it, right?) with another man. Of course your husband is going to be upset. Would you be upset if he went out to lunch with a woman you did not know and paid for her?
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 3:21 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Is he jealous because you have a past to give him a reason or is he insecure???

    My marriage is built on a solid/good foundation... so hubby and I might tease each other (joking only), but we trust each other to be out with the opposite sex and not think the other is being inappropriate?!?! Who seriously wants to be with a man that behaves like that unless they have it twisted in thinking he loves/likes you more while acting like a child?
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 3:22 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • If you don't stand up for yourself right now, he's always going to be controlling you. But I wouldn't go out to lunch with another man. Dh would be upset about that too.
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 3:23 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Was he like this always or has it just gotten worse.. I would nip it in the butt now and regain a mutual respect for each other. My DH used to be jealous but we've gotten past it and I can't imagine dealing now with what type of shit he used to do/say to me..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Looks like a lack of "trust/Faith" in the marriage... those are foundations, along with communication/honesty in a relationship... and if something is missing, looks like the future either has a breakup or therapy? Manipulating you into staying at the office because he can't seem to trust you or has personal issues is not right and will only continue with more drama/strife down the road
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Being livid because you went to lunch with a man is a good sign that there's not enough security to build a marriage. In a healthy marriage, the partners aren't worried about their spouses spending time with someone of the opposite sex, because they know nothing is happenng.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:25 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I'm sorry you're going through this, but don't just put up with it. He's being controlling and jealous, and it could escalate to something worse.

    I would also question what HE was doing while you were in Quebec. It's not uncommon for a cheater to accuse a spouse to hide their own guilt.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 3:30 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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