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What would you do?

If your SMIL treated you pretty crappy (by telling you that if there was anything bothering you that you can go and talk to her. Then comes a time when you take her up on her offer she gets after you for taking so long to talk to her about it. When your only intentions of going to her was: 1) explain how you feel uncomfortable about the text she sent you about your DH, 2)Apologize for, If i upsetted her or Dale for me leaving Easter dinner and that I wasn't feeling so well. then 3) Tell her, that I would appreciate it if she wouldn't cuss around my kids.

Her responses were: Why did it take you so long to come talk to me about this? 2)how do you expect people to feel if you keep you head down all the time, and on your phone? 3)That is why they are not welcome here without mom or dad. (Now these are only the few questions/statements that came out of her mouth. Too much to type to go over her hostility. )

My response to:1) DH was going to have his dad talk to her about it and wanted me to leave it to him, but then i remember she said i could talk to her, and figured it would be better coming from me. 2) i am a very shy and quiet person, i find it rude to talk to people and stare at them when they are eating. My stomach has been hurting from stress, i did talk to people when they were talking to me directly. [then she asks me "why do you even go to these gatherings if i'm going to be that way?"... wtf] 3)well, have a good day....

And is now she is going to other family members telling them what she did to me and don't know how to fix it. She's already apologized to me. But when she's around she doesn't try to make any effort to show she wants to fix it. And now after DH finally tells me she's been trying, and asks why am I not?!..DH says "Why are you guys just avoiding each other?"

What am I suppose to do? (When I was young and fought with other kids, my mom always told me, that if you can't get along, talk nice, play nice, respect each other.. than you should just stay away from each other. Now I know, this was when I was a kid, but I think of it the same way as adults. I can have a civil conversation, or respond to her maturely and respectfully. But I don't see myself trying to be buddy buddy with her, when she don't play nice..lol... You know what I mean?) I've tried the whole 'confide in each other and work with each other' but it just blew up in my face. I think, in my own opinion, that she handles things the wrong way. She's way to blunt, pushy, impatient, she stresses herself out too much and sometimes take that stress out on other people, then when they react to her, she points the finger at them.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • I would try my best to try to get along because it is to your advantage in your relationship, be smart and play it right
    older

    Answer by older at 5:07 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I am.. I'm doing well on my part. I talk to her when she finally decided to grow up and talk to me about what happened. I invited her over to son Bday party. Talk friendly to her.. What more am I suppose to do? she's a workaholic, I am a BUSY SAHM, so there's not a whole lot of time... really do much...
    Thing is DH wants me to do something... He wants to see action...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:12 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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