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Help w my spouses ex?

ok my SO and i have been together for 3 years.he has a 3 and a half year old daughter too we have been together since she wsa 6 months old. he left his ex bc she is a crazy B***h.she tried to keep their daughter away from him for no reason and hten when we got together she used me as a excuse saying i was a slut and b***h n didnt want her kid around that. which i dont dress like a slut or act like a b***h so she had no right saying that. she wouldnt let him around their daughter and only wanted his money til finally she went and got child supprt (which was ok we knew that we needed to pay child support). but she calls him a sperm donor and DBD and says he hates his daguhter. and blah blah. they only thing she likes is for her to be a victim., and i think she asts liek this bc her dad was never in her life.so we dealt with her difficuty for liek 2 years and then finally got joint custody. i kept telling him he needed to get it sooner but we didnt have the money. so we got joint custody and she was nice to us and all the drama quit. until like 2 months later when we found out i was pregnat (we found out i was pregnant on your 2 year anniversery....) she flipped out and started teling everyone that i told her and several others that i got pregant on purpose and i made it to where no he could never leave me and stuff like that. why would i have to get prego on purpose we wanted our daughter. she was only with him for 2 months when she got prego.... so she cant be talking about me lol but now she woeks at a bank and works the drive through and we have a friend that banks there and when she goes through the drive through his ex talks to her through the drive trhu and complains about him and says all kinds of stuff. like she needs to be doing that at work. and like today she calls him while she is at work on her work phone and calls for liek 15mins yelling at him for no reasona nd stuff i could hear her why does she feel the need to do that at work. so then he tells her to call him back later when she is off to talk about stuff and she starts txting him like crazy evvery 5 mins his phone goes off. this is while she is on the clock working. it is crazy. then she flips out bc im pregnant with our 2nd child. and i guess she is jealous of our relationship bc since we have ebeen together (3years) she has had like 11 boyfriends not like for 6months or 4 months its like a m onth or 2 at a time n she bringsthem around her dauther and tells everyone that thats her childs dad and stuff. and that isnt good her that child. she has been with this guy for like 6 months and he has been a good guy to the her and both of them really and stuff and idk what to i cant talk to her bc it makes it worse bc she still hates me. for some reason......i just hate seeing how she treats my So and how he gets upset and stuff with some of the things she says to him and trys to do. and i wish i could make it go away but i cant we have to deeal with it for the rest of our lives and i hate it for him. idk waht to do

has anyone else had to deal with this

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You lost me after you wrote your ex didn't pay any child support until she went to court. How was he expecting his DD to be supported before that?


     If I were you I'd stay out of it for now and only let your ex talk to her about his daughter. Go to court so he can get official visitation rights. He doesn't have to take her phone calls if she is yelling, he can record these and save any inappropriatemessages to use for his court case. Don't add to the drama let her be the one to cause the problems, just have him document everything.  The best you can do is be very good role models and parents to his DD.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I dealt with all this for the longest time. My best advice to give....don't let her get to you. If she does, don't let her see it. Same thing goes for your SO....when she calls him yelling, he needs to stay calm and polite. The more polite he is, the more it will bother her and eventually she'll back off. She'll know that nothing she says or does bothers you two and she'll stop. Let her say whatever she wants about his relationship with his daughter....in the end, you know the truth and his daughter will feel the love he has for her. Good luck and if you ever need advice.....don't hesitate to ask!!!
    cmgIII

    Answer by cmgIII at 5:29 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • RyansMom001................we were giving her money but it was like set up like child support is and so she went and got child support and we were fine with that bc even though she would let him have any contact with his daughter he knew he still had reponsiblilties. i try to not get involved but it is just a crazy situation.

    we try to jsut stay calm when she acts crazy and it does make her crazy. she is the type that makes her self always being thet victim and tries to make everyoen bleieve her
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Your egg donor seems to be a lot crazier than mine. It's really hard for me to give advice to someone when I, myself am going through something similar. I, however, can tell you what I have been learning in therapy. Your SO is in a relationship with who? YOU, right? So don't let whatever egg donor has to say get to you. People always say that the new wife is the one to feel threatened by the ex because she is the mother of his kid(s) when it is actually the OTHER WAY AROUND. They are exes for a reason and the new wife is usually the one receiving all the love, affection and attention that they need. This chick is JEALOUS of the relationship you have with your SO..remember, haters don't hate you, they hate themselves, because YOU are a reflection of what they wish to be....keep living your life with your hubby and kids, she's worthless to even be worrying about.
    Fefita

    Answer by Fefita at 8:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Fefita....thanks that's is so true. We are happy together n happy w our life.....thanks very much
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:19 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

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