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Where do you draw the line when disciplining a good friend's child?

Do you do minimal involvement or do the same as with your child? What if the child is acknowledged to have behavioral issues? Let it go or use the same tack as with your own little one?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Depends... Is the mother there or are you babysitting? If mom is there I would only step in if the child was harmful to himself or others or does something really out of line.

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 7:07 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • My son has behavior issues (he sees a behavior therapist and has a TSS. We'll be starting mobile soon). Anyway, I feel very uncomfortable leaving him with anyone and I always bring his friends here for play dates for just the reason you said. Not that I worry my friends would, like, beat him or anything, but I don't want to put them in the position.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 7:09 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I wouldnt discipline someone elses child the same way I do mine, I think thats over stepping the boundaries. If the child was put in my care without the Mother there we would have a discussion about discipline, what she is comfortable with me doing, time out etc and stick to that.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:13 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • do you mean when the mother is right there, or when your on a play date, or are you the babysitter,,, I think mom in romm, mind your own business, play date, gently redirect, babysitting, time outs if directed by the parents.

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:18 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • i'm with the anon who said she wouldn't have a child over that had issues..i am not trained or equipped to handle whatever 'behavior' might come up, and i'd rather not be put in that position. however, i will not stand for 'normal' ill-behavior in my home, just because its another person's child. i expect my son to behave accordingly when he's at another home, and he knows they have the authority to give him time-out, or call me. he, however, is not an ill-behaved child, and i would not expect 'that call'.
    if a time-out due to bad behavior isn't working with another's child while in my home or my care, they get taken home. and it won't be happening again. i refuse to be lead around by a brat.
    (not saying 'behavioral-issues' make a kid a brat..i'm talking regular, everyday-never-gets-disciplined brats.)

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:24 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • She said she wouldn't have a child over that had behavior issues because she wouldn't want them "rubbing off on her kid". You, dullscissors, admit that you are not comfortable because you might not be able to handle it. And as I said in my post, I don't want to put anyone in the position.
    Thank you for not making me feel like my child is an outcast.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 7:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Time out or taking the toy/game away.


    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:42 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I would expect my friend to be taking care of her own child if they were over. If she were not there and the child has issues I would not be babysitting. If the friend is not actively parenting niether one would be in my home.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:06 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • if the parent is there and in the same room i might gently remind the child if i dont see the parent doing anything about a behavior that is not allowed at my house (mostly dangerous things or getting into the fridge). If a parent is out of the room, i'll tell the child once or twice, by then parent should be back by then. If babysitting, i will do pretty much anything but spank. ex if a child will not sit down for time out, keeps getting up and screaming, they will go into the highchair. they get treated like the age they act and time out starts when they stop crying and can sit.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 8:19 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Time out. I don't spank or yell. If the child has "behavioral issues" than I probably wouldn't have the child over in the first place. I don't want them to be a bad influence on my kid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jun. 13, 2011