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HELP!!! is my boyfriend using me for money

i"ve been with my man for a month. he's never asked me for money ever. his aunt and lil cousins were murdered about 2 weeks ago and he's been really depressed and his family have been trying to find money for the funeral because his aunt didnt have insurance so he told me what was going on and that he was broke. i understood that. well his birthday is coming up and he said babe are u gonna get me a present, i said yeah maybe what do u like. and he told me money is always a good gift lol and i said yeah i bet. then he texted me back saying yeah what does that mean, are u mad. he's never asked me for money but should i let him go? i wasn't feeling the fact that he even had the audacity to say money would be a good gift. i haven't spoken to him since because i'm kind of iffy towards him now

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Elijahzmommy260

Asked by Elijahzmommy260 at 11:50 PM on Jun. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • wait....you say he's using you for money because he asked for money for his birthday gift? and he hasn't ever asked you to borrow money, etc? i'm so confused. i also think money is a good gift. it beats getting something you don't like. i'm not understanding why that is such a terrible thing. unless you were planning on giving him something you already own or making him something out of free materials you were going to spend money on a gift anyway. so what is so offensive about just giving him the money instead?
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 11:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • well I think it was really forward of him to ask you if you where gonna get him a present!! because you've only been seeing him for a month!!! no not cool... I'd feel weird about it too!!!!

    traren

    Answer by traren at 11:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I'm sorry for your man's loss. Maybe in a normal situation he wouldn't ask, but it sounds like his situation isn't normal. He may feel better about asking that you give him money instead of a gift since he's broke and he would use your gift to give to his family. If everything has been going good between the two of you; you care for him and believe he cares for you - I wouldn't consider this to be a deal breaker. If he continues to ask you for money - that's a whole other ball game. Take good care.
    pocmom

    Answer by pocmom at 11:56 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • I would go with my gut......you havent been going out with him very long and he wants money as a gift from you?
    michaux

    Answer by michaux at 11:56 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • He's never asked for money before? Why would you even think that then? I think your majorly over reacting. Considering they are trying to dig up money for a funeral, i'd be more upset if he wanted something petty than money he could possibly use to help out, given the circumstances. I would have offered money, honestly.
    Trinity001

    Answer by Trinity001 at 11:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • Ok, I misread that its only been a month. I was thinking you had been together a lot longer. So, given the circumstances I would probably let it go. If he makes a habit out of it then, that's a different story!
    Trinity001

    Answer by Trinity001 at 12:01 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • It is kimnda weird asking u like that, buts its not too bad. He was probabaly trying to lighten his mood. As for getting money for the funeral expenses, try a benefit thing. Maybe a few friends can bake some goods...another maybe can provide music ect. Being a murder, has the city let your b/f's family pick up the Aunt's body yet?? Also some morgues can keep a body in the cooler until u can get money for a funeral. Also some counties will help pay for services too.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:02 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • since you two haven't been seeing each other very long. I would take him out to eat nice dinner. See his reaction and if he acts shady then you have your answer.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 12:09 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I am sorry about your Man's Aunt & Cousin; i am sure he has had a hard time dealing w/ the loss of both of them but.. i think it is very disrespectful to even ask if you are planning to get him a present- much less; say Money is always good! That would be a Deal Breaker for me- especially, if you have only been dating a month- if something is telling you it  doesn't feel right; it probably isn't.. go w/ your gut instinct- lots of luck!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 12:14 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • you have only been together a month so it was rude of him to even ask for a gift! I'd just proceed with caution!
    serenityspeaks

    Answer by serenityspeaks at 12:25 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

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