My son recently moved back home. In general he's a good kid. My dilema is that he has a suspended driver's license and if caught driving again will go to jail for 60 days, no questions asked. If it was just him, I'd say deal with the consequences, but he has a 1 year old daughter that he shares joint custody with - we have her 3 to 4 days a week. I realizing I am rationalizing as a mature adult (yes, he aught to by now), but if he goes to jail - no bail option - he loses his job, his car is impounded and even if I wanted to I can't get it out, car payment won't be made and insurance won't be paid and then the state will be all over for him again.
I've tried talking with him about him; asking what his rationalization and/or reasoning is for continuing to "go out" knowing the risks and the consequences. I get "this isn't my home", I'm not comfortable asking anyone over", "I need to socialize", and so on. To me these aren't answers.
I was a single mom and fortunately went thru the majority of my rough times before he was old enough to realize. That doesn't mean he hasn't seen me struggle.
I want to throw my hands up and say I quit but I can't do that. I keep telling myself that I'm not going to say anything more about the subject and let the chips fall where they may, but as a mom, I want to protect him from the unnecessary nastiness of life.
I really need help, for my own sanity and to preserve our relationship. At the rate we are going, we may not have too much left to say to one another. Do I need to mind my own business and let the consequences, if they materialize, fall where they may?
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:36 AM on Jun. 14, 2011
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