Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anyone else secretly wish their husbands/partners were treating them differently?

So I'm 28 weeks pregnant and so far have had no morning sickness or really any other bad symptoms. I work full-time and have only missed work twice! Anyway, I still do all the stuff around the house I did before, like buy the groceries, laundry, etc. I know that I don't look or act sick or fragile but sometimes I wish my husband would realize that I"m in the 3rd trimester and somewhat fragile! He doesn't ask if I need a backrub or if I want any special food or anything. In fact, I've not asked him to get me any food once! Does anyone else wish their partners treated them a little more special?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • You have to speak up to him. If you don't act fragile or tell him that you're fragile, he won't take the hint...believe me =] I've given up on asking my boyfriend for footrubs or backrubs. He just doesn't know how to do them. But he didn't treat me any differently until I spoke up and said "DAMMIT I DON'T FEEL GOOD!" lmao. Your husband is going to have to realize that you're going to be slowing down as your pregnancy progresses...and you'll need a little bit more pampering than you previously did.

    Oh, and you're incredibly lucky to have skipped morning sickness. You weren't missing anything, I promise.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 6:07 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • This is our 3rd pregnancy. My husband bent over backwards for me for our first one, doing the laundry and carrying stuff around the house only with me at like 13 weeks. I didn't even work then! Well the second one rolls around he let up a lot and didn't act as concerned since I was working and stuff I could handle my job so why couldn't I handle the house chores. Now it is our 3rd and I work a full time (over time which consists of anywhere from 56 to 60 hours a week) and he has been spending the last few weeks being well sort of rude and angry with me that I am not getting the housework done and not other chores a wife is supposed to do lol (you know what I mean) I have tried talking to him but honestly with guys you just never can tell what they are going to do!! Just try and talk to him and explain that you need little whether you act like it or not.

    Answer by brolyx429 at 6:19 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I felt the same way about my husband with my first baby, well maybe worse, because I did have attrocious morning sickness and he still never realized he needed to step up. I kept doing everything, and I went into preterm labor - not fun. You might tell hubby that though you have done amazingly well so far, you really do need to start slowing down and taking it easier so that you will continue to do amazingly well. With my last pregnancy (twins & new husband), my hubby had to step up very early on, and I just made sure I told him thankyou a lot! I think most men don't realize they need to pamper you, so you have to tell them what you need, and when they do it they need to be praised or else they'll stop doing it! Good luck!

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:29 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I'm there. I'm 35 wks and my hubby has basically quit helping me out. He really only helped when we moved (I was around 26-28 wks); he wouldn't let me pack anything (which is good). BUT my sciatica is really worse now and i can't stand or walk for more than 10-15 minutes at a time, my feet are balloons, and now the baby has dropped, making my hips feel like their about to pop out of socket or something. But guess what? He won't even help clean house, even though he is laid off work... I haven't cleaned house in probably a week or two (other than picking up trash etc) and the dishes just got done for the first in about a week as well (gross, I know...). I'm on strike...LOL!

    Answer by srhmldndo at 7:20 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • CONTINUED: I finally told him to clean up the living room today, (I've been letting him play video games for 2 wks straight) and he acted like he was so upset that he had to lift a finger and fold a little laundry, while I scrubbed some funky dishes....GRRR....I've been driving to my mom's house each weekend to do laundry, and cleaning house and kept everything up since he got laid off about a month ago, and he still doesn't feel the need to help out....The only thing I have to say, is that you should just step up and make him do something. If you're not feeling up to it, tell him. Be like, HEY I didn't make this baby myself!!

    Answer by srhmldndo at 7:20 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • One day just let it all out on him! Tell him you don't feel good your back hurts, your feet are swollen, You feel like your carrying a watermelon that kicks you. I know this sounds bad but in a book my fiance read when I was pregnant. (A BOOK FOR DADS-TO-BE) It said just imagine sticking an umbrella in you and then opening it up. Try that it should help!!!!

    Answer by aneely08 at 8:02 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • we can never assume men know what we are thinking, tell him what you need, it doesnt make you weak. it makes you human. :0)

    Answer by angelbabies14 at 8:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Hey, I'm totally with you on that!!! I never had any symptoms of pregnancy, just an expanding face and belly. I feel the same exact way, and this is the 2nd time around!!

    Answer by charisma10 at 8:53 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • im 34 weeks and have a boy im even know him after my boyfriend. my bf works full time but off every weekend. he dont help me do any thing. i tell him his gona make me go in to labor and he says ohwell. when every i ask him to rub my back or feet i end up rubing his. i wasent that bigwhen i got preg and ieve gained 45 lbs so i have a lot more weight to carrie around. i do all the cooking, cleaning and the clothes i even run his bath water and wash his bath but he dont do any thing for me. and when i ask him to do something 4 me, he tells me if i dont like the way he is than i can leave. he also tells me he wount be able to help much with the baby because he works but he expeces me to work and do every thing 4 him and the baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I totally wish he would have helped out more. I resent him for that. He's only gotten up with the kids amybe twice and its been 7 years, and 4 kids.

    Answer by berrysweetmamma at 12:16 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.