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How do i fix this mess?

there is no order in my house. my five year old told me that i was a jackass the other day. he argues with every word that i say to him. no table manners. doesn't listen. i can't put it all on him. things have been rocky the past few years. his father and i are always arguing, we have pretty much been trapped in the house. i had to quit my job a few years ago when i had my second son. we just couldn't afford the pay cuts and daycare and gas...eh...then my car just quit (transmission). we have been in the house together for close to 3 years now. we get out when my husband is off from work and run errands. occasionally go to the park. other than that, we are here going stir crazy...i need some advice on how to get my household back in order. i know my son needs discipline...but so do i...please no bashing...i am asking for help...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (24)
  • look for a job !! probably this what YOU need .... you miss that feelin to be actif ... contribute to the house ... you may help ur HB and can arrange for going out for vacation from time to time ... good luck
    caramelH

    Answer by caramelH at 6:01 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Stop and seperate the problems. Work on the ones that you can deal with. Control yourself.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:18 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • You have to control your behavior before you can control anothers.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:19 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • First you need to properly discipline your 5 yr.old. Find a time-out space, set a timer for 5 min. (1 min. per child's age), and be consistent! Explain why he is in time-out and when he could come out (when bell rings or timer buzzes). If he leaves the area before, take him by the hand, put him back, starting the timer over again. It won't be easy and it'll take a lot of time, but you need to get some order instilled in your son. Afterward, try creatively engaging him in household chores to help get your house in some kind of order. Take your children for walks around the neighborhood; it'll give you time to breathe a little. Set time for yourself when your husband is off of work and let him do the same. Find a friend, if possible, to swap responsibilities, "I'll watch your kids today, can you please watch mine tomorrow?" Ask family for help with baby-sitting so you and you husband can have a "date night." Good luck!
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:58 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • You need to start disciplining. TAKE THINGS AWAY that mean alot to them! If they are going to act out - sit him in a quiet and empty room until he is ready to learn. Take walks, if you can't go anywhere and you are all stir crazy than play outside!! Buy some outside toys for them.
    MommaSiete

    Answer by MommaSiete at 10:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Discipline for both you and your son and a written schedule for the day to keep you both on track.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 11:18 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • To add to the discipline, go online and find some new activities to do outside to run around and be all crazy. Go on scavenger hunt walks, have picnics, set up a tent outside for them to play in.

    Each night make a list of things to do, try to get yourself organized and get a routine going that might help also.
    choco_mom

    Answer by choco_mom at 12:09 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Discipline and take a break for yourself too
    Madelaine

    Answer by Madelaine at 3:15 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • try to get some "me" time, you need a break! you'll need to start disciplining your son, i know it's easier said than done, find something that works for you. Try to get out of the house more often. Do you have a library in town? A yard to play outside? Do activities to keep your son occupied, bake together, do crafts, etc. Good luck!
    Kainalu55

    Answer by Kainalu55 at 3:57 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Sit down with your kids and make a schedule and some rules that everyone can follow. Teach them how to clean up after themselves and let them know it is what they have to do now. They're big enough. Only allow respectful language, and be sure to praise your boys when they do it. Please and thank you go a long way for both kids and parents.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 4:53 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

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