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When you are dating how often do you see your boyfriend?

I been seeing this guy a month and I feel smothered. I haven't even got my divorce yet and didn't want the kids to see me with someone new so soon, or at least not seeing him all the time. He wants to see me everyday. I would feel more comfortable once a week to slowly get the kids used to the idea. We see each other about twice or 3 times a week but when I see him it is for hours at a time and the kids are starting to get tired. He is already asking me to move in with him and I am definately not ready for that. I don't want my kids to think I left their dad for another man because that is not how it was. I am really starting to distance myself from him cause he is getting on my nerves, he calls and texts a thousand times a day. I told him I had kids and a house to take care of here alone, its hard trying to date.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I recently got a divorce in March, but have been in my own home since Oct. My son spends 50/50 at both homes. I met my boyfriend in January and he has actually only met my son 4 times. I see him 2-4 times per week, but when my son is at his dads house. It sounds like your new bf is getting a bit clingy and not understanding your need to be a mother and run a home. Does he have children of his own? Mine also has his 50/50 so this helps us out. So soon after the divorce I think it is important to move a little more slowly when introducing a new relationship. It can get very confusing for the kids and cause problems in the future. Talk with your bf tell him your concerns and see if he is thr type of guy who can respect your position. I know the beginning of relationships are exciting and you want to spend a lot of time together, but rules change when there are kids involved. Good luck!
    kdwiegandt

    Answer by kdwiegandt at 8:39 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Tell him that the relationship is taking a toll on your kids & that you need a time out. Let him know that the constant texts & phone calls are too much. I can't believe he already asked you to move in...if you ask me, this guy sounds like the type who might be very controlling. Take a step back & let him know you're taking a step back. If he gets mad, then you will see his true colors. If he really cares & is a good man, he will understand you & back off a little.

    It takes a long time to REALLY get to know someone, this guy sounds creepy.....take it REAL slow...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:44 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • BIG RED FLAG

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I'm with Anon, he's moving waaay too fast! Too much texting, wanting to move in within a month? My friends (I have 2) who were in abusive relationships all moved super quickly. Not saying all fast ones are, but it's a huge warning sign. Don't let him push you past of comfort zone. Set your boundaries, if he doesn't respect you then move on. Think of your children and what's best for you and them. If he's this pushy now, I can't imagine what he'd be like living with him. Be careful.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:11 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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