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How do you deal with a very very stubborn 21 mth old?

I have twins, the one has been I guess throwing temper tantrums ... but I honestly think it's beyond a temper tantrum. She wil scream for 40 minutes straight sometimes if you don't give her what she wants. Then when she yelling for milk and I give her milk she throws it on the floor and keeps screaming. I have tried so many times to give her what she wants and she doesn't care she keeps screaming. I have tried to be tough and ignore her, she doesn't stop. I have tried to play the "don't talk to me until you can talk nice" game and that doesn't work. I have tried telling her a plain old "no" with the screaming and throwing, that doesn't work. I cannot go to the bathroom while they are eating, I cannot sit & eat while they're eating, they will throw their food/sippy cups all over the floor and scream. The one doesn't usually do it but when her sister starts then she follows. I have tried everything and I don't know what to do. I want to walk outside and scream at the top of my lungs sometimes (not literally, but it's how I feel) I have tried to be so patient but I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this. I am here with them 24/7 their dad works constantly. I love my babies more than anything in this world and I don't like feeling frustrated or like I don't know what to do in this situation, I have always, my whole life, have been able to figure out any situation and today I sit here and ask complete strangers for advice.

Thank you.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (3)
  • its okay we all get frustrated sometimes.. lord knows i get frustrated more than i should but it happens when u have 2 small kids with virtually no help... ( im in the same boat.. 2 kids 4 and 2 expecting another any day and my dh works all the time so i feel ur pain) just keep doing what ure doing and be consistent... one of these days theyll just get it ... and if u have to go outside and scream.. go for it... try to hang in there it will get better.. if not drinking at night is a viable option.. i kid i kid

    Answer by zperez0809 at 8:40 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Yeah, it's amazing what kids turn us into!!   Be consistent as to what is allowed and what isn't. Start new rules that when they get their milk it is taken away if thrown. Give them one warning. And then they have to wait awhile for it again. Stay as calm as possible and try to ignore any tantrums. Give them tons of praise when they do things right and try to give as much individul attention as possible. Kids often go for the negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention.  You might start little rewards for cooperation.  Plus make them your little helpers for everything.  The littlest thing can make them feel special and help with easing tensions.  Plus you might want to make sure her hearing is OK.  I have a hearing problem and sometimes it explains a lot if there is one. GL


    Answer by whitepeppers at 8:57 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • 40 minutes straight seems like an awfully long time for a 21 month old to keep up a screaming tantrum. You might want to ask your pediatrician about it.

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 11:09 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

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