Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How do i deal?

This is a bit backwards it seems from most questions, but here im the adult child. I am 23 and moved back in with my parents 6 months ago. It's been nothing but a nightmare. They do help with the kids, which i appreciate a lot. But no matter what i do to help it's not good enough. I buy ALL the food for the house, and try like heck to keep things clean. Every good thing i do do, they manage to find something negative about it. And im not allowed to have boyfriends now. Am i not 23? He treats me and the kids well all I would like is a movie night to cuddle. (My parents don't like me in my room with him, and FREAK if we use a blanket to keep warm) and an occasional night out. My parents used to take the kids every weekend. And now it's like pulling out hair trying to get rents to watch boys for an hr every couple of weeks...
Am i in the wrong for wanting a night out with my boyfriend? Am i wrong for wanting to cuddle and watch a movie in my room with my boyfriend? I don't know what to do! I feel my relationship is weakening by lack of q1uality time spent together, and it's all because of my parents not allowing me time with him. -We have time together with the kids, but all relationships need alone time too right? GGAAAHHHH I'm so confused. Please help.

Answer Question
 
sillymumof2

Asked by sillymumof2 at 8:42 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 5 (100 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • when can you move out? this is the reason when i moved back in for my parents it was only for 5months. i could not take it. i would save save and save and get out. or sit them down calmly and explain like an adult you are that just because you are living there does not mean you are under their rules. you have children of your own and you need to be treated like a adult not like one of the kids. its extremely difficult. good luck.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:49 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • They are not your babysitters and have every right to tell you they don't want to watch your kids so you can go out...get a babysitter...It's hard living with your parents again...I am 25 and had to do it. luckily my mom watched my kids...only at night and after they were asleep...but only until I started bringing them with me to my b/f's house...I moved in with him after 3 months of dating because the situation at my moms was bad. does your b/f have a place? Can you go there and spend time with him and bring your kids so you don;t have to worry about a sitter?
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 8:50 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • My boyfriendmoved back in with his mom to help her... she was about to loose the place she was living in and he saved her when his rent was up.. but in october he is getting his own place, and we have talked about moving in together at that time... but as far as wtching the kids, I only ask her to watch them after the are alrdy sleeping, but she feels as if she can't leave them upstairs alone if im not home. Although they sleep upstairs alone anyway even when i do get home. I just started spending nights at his house when his mom has overnight shifts too, so im hopeing that that will help my mom give us suim alone time.
    sillymumof2

    Comment by sillymumof2 (original poster) at 8:58 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • your goal should be to move out... that may be why they are acting like that anyway!
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 10:33 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • If you don't like the house rules, move out. As for the boyfriend - yes, you are wrong if the house rules are no boyfriends in the bedroom! Again their house, their rules. You are a 23 year old mother - figure out how to get out on your own OR live by the house rules.
    And this is coming from the mother to adult twin sons who live by the house rules knowing if they don't, they must move.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:01 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • if i were you i would start saving to have my own place. one time when i left my ex and stayed at my parents, mind you i did this for three days only, that's how long i could take it. she did my laundry and iron every item of clothing even the underwear, as soon as i got home from work, it was here are your kids and take care of them. i couldn't go anywhere, so i went back to the ex, that's how bad it was. either you get your own place or deal.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:52 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I'll make you a deal- you come live here- & I'll send my ungrateful, slob of a son (20 y/o) to live w/ them in your place! Within a week they will be begging you to return home & gladly give you the time you need w/ your bf! LOL :p
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:11 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • As a mom of adult children, here is what I think. Go to your boyfriends' place to cuddle. It obviously bothers your parents so just be respectful and go somewhere else.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 8:01 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I tend to agree with PP. Also, you need to move out ASAP, it will not get any better.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 4:12 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Thank you everyone. Me n the bf had a nice talk, and once his lease is up we are getting a place. I didn't think hed agree to it, but he was actually excited about it.
    sillymumof2

    Comment by sillymumof2 (original poster) at 6:16 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.