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Gaaahhhh How Do I Deal????

This is a bit backwards it seems from most questions, but here im the adult child. I am 23 and moved back in with my parents 6 months ago. It's been nothing but a nightmare. They do help with the kids, which i appreciate a lot. But no matter what i do to help it's not good enough. I buy ALL the food for the house, and try like heck to keep things clean. Every good thing i do do, they manage to find something negative about it. And im not allowed to have boyfriends now. Am i not 23? He treats me and the kids well all I would like is a movie night to cuddle. (My parents don't like me in my room with him, and FREAK if we use a blanket to keep warm) and an occasional night out. My parents used to take the kids every weekend. And now it's like pulling out hair trying to get rents to watch boys for an hr every couple of weeks...
Am i in the wrong for wanting a night out with my boyfriend? Am i wrong for wanting to cuddle and watch a movie in my room with my boyfriend? I don't know what to do! I feel my relationship is weakening by lack of q1uality time spent together, and it's all because of my parents not allowing me time with him. -We have time together with the kids, but all relationships need alone time too right? GGAAAHHHH I'm so confused. Please help.

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sillymumof2

Asked by sillymumof2 at 8:43 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (100 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Seems like rents want you to focus solely on doing what you have to do to move back out of their house and not on growing your relationship with a boyfriend. That just means you either have to move out, or be more creative in finding ways to spend alone with him. Going to a drive in movie is a good because you can have the kids with you AND cuddle with him.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:48 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Well, i think your parents ware worried about being taken advantage of. They might also think that it's not appropriate to spend time with your boyfriend, when you have 2 kids to take care of. I can understand why they don't want to stay home with your kids while you go out with your boyfriend. If you don't have your own house, or pay for your own babysitter....you can't just expect your parents to watch your kids so that you can go have fun with your boyfriend. That is something a 16 year old would do. They want you to be responsible & stay home with your kids while you are working on getting on your own 2 feet. You don't really have time for a boyfriend right now. Your kids should be taking up all your time, just like any other mom out there with 2 young kids.

    I can understand why they would think it's irresponsible of you to spend time with your boyfriend when you have 2 children to worry about & look after.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:49 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like they're willing to help, but not willing to play babysitter for you...and they have every right not to. When you can afford to get your own place & pay for a babysitter, then you can do what you want when you want. But, right now...you need your parents & their help. If you don't like it, then save up & move out.

    They probably don't really enjoy the fact that their adult daughter has to move back in with her 2 kids & i don't blame them. I would never want my DD out on the street, but if she came home at 23 with 2 kids...heck yeah....she would be living under MY roof with MY rules. If she didn't like it, she could always leave.

    Work on getting on your own 2 feet first, then worry about your boyfriend.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:52 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • well the fact of the matter is that you ARE living in their home.


    Once you choose to move back, you choose to live by their rules... regardless.


    I completely understand about not having boys in your room.  Hubs and I didnt stay (not sleep just be in) a bed room in his parents home until after we were married... and we lived with each other for 2 yrs saving for the wedding... but that is called respect.


    If you want a boyfriend you have to move out... simple... that makes you and autonomous adult, not a child living off mom and dad.


     


    btw... my guess is that there is more to the story.  How young were you went you had the kids?  What were the circumstances of you moving back in?  Im guessing mom and dad have seen some issues in the past and are simply over reacting.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • It's the fact that they used to watch the kids all weekend, and now they won't even help to watch them after they are sleeping, but give me hell for going out. it's just not right. i can't do anything and it's super stressful
    sillymumof2

    Comment by sillymumof2 (original poster) at 9:00 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I was 17 when i had my oldest. Far too young.
    sillymumof2

    Comment by sillymumof2 (original poster) at 9:01 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • i don't blame your parents at all. They used to watch them all weekend when you weren't living with them & on your own. Now, you live with them & it's totally different. You should not be going out & having fun when you are needing to depend on others. That is irresponsible. They probably also fear that you're going to get yourself pregnant again.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:10 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think they are worried about having more grandchildren,, I would move out with my kids, and hire a babysitter when you want to go out on a date,, it might suck, but it is thier house, and you need to decide if you want to live by the rules, or live on your own and make your own rules.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:20 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think you are not wrong about needing time for you and your relationship. Every one needs that. you are NOT asking for too much.
    misha230

    Answer by misha230 at 9:45 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I don't allow my grown children when they are living at home to have an opposite sex friend in their bedrooms. It's inappropriate. Why can't you watch a movie in the living room? As far as babysitting so you can go out, they are probably trying to teach you some responsibility. When you were on your own, you were keeping your house and paying your bills. Now you are doing chores like when you were a child. They aren't making it easy on you because they want you to grow up and take reponsibility for yourself and your children. Though you may have been doing it before, you aren't now. And just what are you showing your children having a man in your bedroom? You already made the mistake yourself at a young age, do you think that your children don't see what you are doing and are going to replicate you and maybe make the same mistake?
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 10:17 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

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