Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why do some mom's think...

Why do some mom's(mainly married ones) think that just because a mom is single means she should focus ALL her time on her kids and not worry about a b/f or dating? Your married congrats. so does that mean you NEVER spend alone time with your husband? Do you focus ALL your time on your kids? I just don't understand how being single means you should not have a social life? I know it's a small number of you who think this,but it still bothers me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I get what your saying ,I have seen married mommas say this, but I want to add I am married and I don't think this is true I think single moms should go out on dates, find them someone to love also, I think for your own sanity you should be able to get out of the house some to,, I am right there with ya momma , everyone deserves some time to themselves not just married mommas:)

    Answer by momto4girzls at 9:02 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I was a single mom of 3 for several years. I didn't go out on dates unless my kids were with their dad. I just think that my children were and are more important that a man that I hardly knew. I do spend time alone with my husband - but I know him, very well. I got to know the man that is not my husband while we were in school together and we commuted an hour each day, so we talked.
    I don't think being single means you should have no social life, but your children should come first.

    Answer by missanc at 9:03 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think it depends on many factors:
    Depends on how old the kids are.
    Depends on how you date... some women are just not good at it, too emotional, too distracted, etc.
    Depends on if you keep the man away from your family until you think you want to marry him or do you bring EVERY man home.

    Some woman can date well with kids.... some cant.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I jsut recently got married and i use to date before i met my husband and i think you should be able to date...the only thing i think is a myriad of men shouldnt be coming in and out your kids lives on a regular basis other then that if momma aint happy no one is happy

    Answer by suhweetness at 9:05 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • There is nothing wrong with a single mom having fun or having a social life. However, you shouldn't EXPECT someone to watch your kids for you. If you truly wanted to go out on a date with your boyfriend, then hire a babysitter and go have fun. But please use protection so your parent's don't have to support another child. I believe that is what their biggest fear is, sillymumof2.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:06 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • It really depends on your situation. If you have a good job, pay rent & bills, can afford babysitters & still afford all the other things a kid needs, then it's fine if you're not depending on other people for help.

    When it's NOT OK, is when the mom has no job, is not paying bills, cannot afford a babysitter & asks other people to just watch her kids so that she can go have fun. That is irresponsible.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:06 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I have been married for almost 10 yrs and before i met my husband i use to go out my son was little then, how are you going to meet someone if you sit home all the time? thats is just stupid to think like that, you can just comeback and say that they aren't allowed to go out since your married now.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 9:09 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I am married, and I do think it is important that single moms have a life outside of their kids, but draw the line, at boyfriends coming in and out of thier kid's lives. I see so many posts on here that seem to put the boyfriend above the kids, and THAT I have a problem with! I think everyone deserves to find a happy relationship, just not at the expense of the children.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:10 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think all parents should focus on their kids...but not solely. I think if we don't focus on ourselves sometimes then we are going to not be as good parents as we could be. I have seen single mom's on both ends of the spectrum. I have seen those who have men staying the night all the time, go out on dates constantly, and neglect their children in favor of a man. Then I have also seen those who put their kids first and don't introduce the kids till they are in a serious relationship.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 9:11 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I've been with my df for 5 years and we have 3 kids together, and Yes I'm one of those women who say focus on your kids, but I'm not a hypocryte, I'm with my kids 24/7 the only time my df and I have alone is when the kids are sleeping. I dont go out or get a babysitter or anything. but just because thats my view doesnt mean it has to be yours. Do whats best for you and your kids, your the only one who knows!!!

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 9:13 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.