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Now I feel horribly ..

I have an office job in our little community, it is usually pretty boring but I love it... most of the time we are socializing - even our boss will come in, prop his feet up and chat...

My best office buddy moved to another dept. and so now I only get to talk to her once or twice a week ( she goes back and forth between offices) , so my new office buddy is this younger guy ... He is younger than me and he is just fun to talk to and tease ... Now I want to point out I am happily married with 3 kids and a house... even if I was single there would still be nothing between us because we are in different stages of life ( i am happy with home life, and work is my "going out" , and he is fresh out of college, just getting started) ...

We never talk outside of work except one time we ran into one another at the store we stopped to chat for a few minutes ( my husband was with me ) - he has met and talked to my husband as well ( he comes to visit me sometimes) ... He is also on my facebook friendslist but other than some "likes" we dont talk on there.

So of course I think nothing is wrong with our little office friendship ...

But apparently his girlfriend does... he has never said anything about a girlfriend, so I was shocked to hear that not only does he have one, but she has a problem with me. She told him to delete me off of facebook, he said he told her no ( he said he wasnt going to start letting her control him like that ) ... well then one day she came into the office, she kept giving me dirty looks and when she turned to leave ( he was trying to get her to leave) she said " why dont you do us a favor and leave him alone " ... In my head I actually asked myself " what the hell ?" ...

Also, our office has been getting several hang up calls ( they all started after her visit)

So after this I decided to actually look at his facebook ( i never really went to his page, i would only see the statuses that would pop up ) ... well i seen several comments made by her in reference to me ... and she says ( shes trying to tell everyone else on his list) that he is a crush on his "office slut" ....

He always apoligizes and says he doesnt know why he is with her, and now he is kind of upset because I havent talked to him as much...

Now before I was ever with my husband i dated a boy who was a big flirt ( and eventually cheated on me) .. I know how those feelings ( wondering if he is or not ) can make you feel crazy , and make you hate a person.... but on the other hand this girl is an adult, and she is acting pretty immature ( she basically is trying to get him fired) ....

I mean I never knew about her and even if i did, i dont think he and I are acting in a way to make her that upset... I mean we have never hugged, never anything even close to something like that... there is another woman who is in her 50s that he talks to sometimes too and even she got the dirty looks from this girl...

I feel bad because i enjoyed talking to him and now I think to myself, I cant even do that because this girl might be hiding out somewhere , and also what if she said was true , if he actually has a crush on me, I dont want to make it worse .. ( which i doubt he does, I just think that is what she thinks ) ....

What would you do ? Nothing to torment this unstable girl , or continue to enjoy my workdays ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Get out of the drama.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:05 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • It's her issue, let her deal with, don't lower yourself to her standards. If she gets more verbal or physical, then respond legally. Don't feed into it, the boyfriend has to deal with her, not you. Good luck mama!

    Answer by Dahis at 10:13 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • leave it all alone, she can say all that she wants but stay off of his facebook to avoid seeing anything she writes. This seems to be his problem and only he can deal with it. Her jealousy is high probably based off of your looks and only that. Since they are only bf/gf, they can decide what is best for them in the end.

    I have lost a friend because of his girlfriend, i went to his son's bday party and his gf was there, she then went crazy and started make him prisoned inside his own home because apparently "he had the hots for me" and so on, he even told me to not text him anymore and i couldnt call him either. He was pretty much banned from coming to my children's bday parties. These are just things all made up in her mind, if you were to say anything in your defense, she wouldnt care, he's going to have to find someone who can deal better with jealousy.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:14 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • and just to show him that you respect his girlfriend's boundaries and dont want to cause trouble, i would distant myself like you have been.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:17 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Well to start with you should delete him from your FB friends list & if he asks you why you deleted him just tell him to not take it personal its just you want to avoid problems with his GF because you don't need that high school drama your a grown mature married women & your not going to feed into her childish ways. Also I would tell your husband about what's going on because who knows if that little girl (because that's how she's acting) will even go as far to say something to your husband & try to eat his head, so I'll just beat her to the punch. Stay away from your coworker as much as you can, don't be rude still say hello & talk to him here & there but not too much or be too friendly. GL sweetie =)


    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 10:26 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I agree with dahis. I've had to deal with this sort of thing many times I admit. it's usually assumed that I must have been inappropriate when I assure you it was not. My former bosses wife got a bit like at one point. She'd call all the time and if I answered she'd cop a attitude. He finally told her that he couldn't have her calling so much. What can you do really?

    Jealousy is a powerful emotion, but I don't see where you've done anything wrong, this girl needs to grow up. Even if your guy pal has a bit of a 'crush' I personally wouldn't let it bother you too much. Seems like the definition of crush is little more than friendship, someone you like or admire in some way.

    Chin up. Maybe she'll either get a clue or maybe he'll break up with her. Either way it's not your issue.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:34 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Sounds to me the guy has a thing for you and she feels threatened. I think you should delete him from your Facebook and have a strictly office relationship. Having him on your Facebook isn't strictly office

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 10:40 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I agree that you should delete him on FB. Keep your DH posted on all of this, and keep it professional with the guy at work. If he asks why, tell him... " I am a happily married woman and I don't need or want this drama" Get a poster made of a family photo to hang in your office and/or the word 'family' in big letters on the wall too. That should send a clear picture of your feelings and priorities to anyone that might stop by!

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 11:05 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • This may be a woman who has some sort of insecurities in her head. Despite the fact you two work together, she may feel threatened by the fact that you are around him eight hours a day. Its her insecurities, not your problem but to avoid uncessesary upfront with your co-worker and let him know that you will delete him from your FB account to avoid the drama between him and his gf.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:29 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Living in a small town I know how quickly something like this can get out of hand! I would do as the others suggested, delete him from facebook. I would also let your dh know what's going on, as she seems the type to go to him with her delusions. I would also tell him you just don't want to get sucked into the drama of all of this. Although you have not done anything wrong, you don't know what he's said about you. He may have commented on you being attractive or he may talk of you incessantly. She may not be all crazy lol, but she shouldn't blame you!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:10 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

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