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S/O kinda, should mom get to control everything while she is in the hospital or does dad have some say too? What if they aren't together?

My opinion is that mom gets to decide who comes to the hospital to see her or the baby. If mom and dad aren't together then YES she gets to decide if he comes too (including the delivery room). Most if not all hospital policies will back me up on this. What do you think? Do you think dad should have some say? Should he be allowed in the delivery room even if mom doesn't want him there? Should he be allowed to invite his mom or anyone else (whether they are together or not) even if she doesn't want his mom there? Does it matter that mom and baby are the patients, not dad?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • The mother has the final say. It's your body. It's NOT a freak show. You are working hard and you don't need added stress in there. If your not with s/o and you don't want him in there, that is your right and he can deal with it. I had a nurse I didn't like and I told her to not come back in and the Dr replaced her. You hold the power, if they can't handle it oh well.

    Answer by SweetPea726 at 2:13 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • the adult patient has the final and only say who comes/goes. any hospital will back that up.

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:54 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Giving birth is hard enough. It's a very intense and personal experience. Nobody should be forced to have anyone there they don't want. No, sperm donor doesn't have a right to be there, he can wait outside the room. And certainly his mom has no rights. She can just f*ck off.

    Answer by Saya at 10:56 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Here the father has no say in anything at all..not even when it comes to the baby itself...because as far as the hospital is concerned the father is not the father untill the birth certificate is signed. You are the patient and you decide who you want to allow to visit. If you want someone to leave then you just call the nurse in and they will have to leave. You can tell them you don't want any visitors at all if you want and no one wil be able to get in to see you.

    Answer by happymama02 at 10:56 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think the choice should be up to BOTH PARENTS... took two to make the child.
    HOWEVER, it would be a very stupid man who pisses off his wife when she is delivering his baby.
    On the other hand, having read SO many posts on cm there are some VERY selfish self centered moms out there who would deny their husband the most basic of curtsies.

    If they are apart... well then the woman is just shooting herself in the foot not to allow the man there.
    If she excludes him from the very start... she cant expect him to step up and be much of a father.
    She would just be starting the whole parenting journey on the wrong foot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • The adult patient should have the final stage as long as she is mentally capable.

    That said, I'd hope most would take into consideration the wishes of the father.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 11:02 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think it's up to the mother, as SHE is the one giving birth. Her comfort should come first and foremost.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:02 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think the mom has all the rights and patient rights backs that up. There are reasons for those rights. None of us know the history someone might have with the father or potential visitors. If there is a good relationship then mom wont mind dad being there and sharing in the decision making.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:17 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Mama has the final say, the family members will have to adjust to that.

    Answer by Dahis at 10:56 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • The mother has the final say!!

    Answer by gammie at 10:58 AM on Jun. 14, 2011