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2 Bumps

Why do friends leave?

In highschool i was friends with everyone.. Not popular but i was friends with the nerds the cheerleaders all around everyone, they knew me etcc..
when i got outta hs i still had my group of friends still doing everything on the weekend, and i know after u start to drift but it was still good 2 yrs and we were all still friends.. then i had a kid and some got married, now non ever wanna talk to me.. no text no fb messages even if i comment they still want nothing to do with me!
Also my neighbor was one of my best friends.. we been thru everything her parents divorse, her mom even had an affair and we found out together.. and now she has dropped me from her life.. i dont understand if its me or them.. I now have very little friends and i rarely get to leave my house cuz i noone wants to hang out!

Answer Question
 
Madilous08

Asked by Madilous08 at 11:16 AM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (120 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Have you asked anyone why they seem to be not wanting to talk to you?
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 11:18 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Wether this was right or wrong when I got pregnant I dropped all of my single friends who liked to party all the time because I was starting a new chapter in my life and they did not share the same intrest as me any more. I can proudly say that Im 100% happy with having my children and hubby as best friends. Although I met back up with an old friend several yrs ago who I knew in hs and we both have children the same age so we get togeather quit a bit but never go out and leave my children at home, we do everything as a family.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 11:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • do you know for a fact she dropped you? Have you made an effort to contact her at all in the past few years? Send her a message,t ell her you miss her & see what happens. Life gets busy, people become much busier folks as adults. I would not rule out your friendship. I did not speak to a good friend for 4 years, well..because we were both busy doing our own thing, not because we dropped each other. When we got back in contact, it was like time never separated us. We were right back to the same old friendship.

    Message her & tell her you want to hang out.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I have to weed through my friends once a year and it sucks you have to discover who is truly your friends and who isn't HUUUUGSSS
    djavongirl

    Answer by djavongirl at 11:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Because life keeps moving and people move on. In life there will be very very few people who stay for a long period of time. Also some leave then come back. I have had that happen as well. Its funny because I was on cheer and dance and knew everyone and at 25 felt like no one was around anymore. Now at 40 I am back friends with everyone. We have a class page on FB and we all talk and hang out. So give it time, eventually true friends come back.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:24 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Boy..would I sure like to know the answer to this myself. To be honest though, I've always had a hard time making friends, but in the past two years, a friend of mine I used to spend a great deal of time with has distanced herself from me, wouldn't take my calls, and always had an excuse as to why she couldn't hang out. I have two special needs kids, and I honestly think she blames me for what I'm going through with them everyday, because she once blew up at me over the phone that "if me and my husband were to just get our acts together, we wouldn't be having these problems". I couldn't believe it...anyway, I recently confronted her about why she's been avoiding me and she said," It takes too much effort, and I'm just being a little selfish right now." I am very angry about this, and hurt, and feel betrayed. The one time in my life I could use a friend, and I don't have that understanding and support from anyone.
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 11:26 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I have never asked why they dont talk to me.. but I do Message her and try and IM her and text her and everything.. she just says hi and then she has to go.. i recently ran into her and another one of my older friends at applebees and they both talked to me but then that was it.. we talked it was 100% akward and that was it.. I know since i have had a kid i dont "party" as much. But even with them having kids and me.. its like Hello im still here.. I dont have single friends ne more, everyone i hung out with is married and or has kids too..
    Madilous08

    Comment by Madilous08 (original poster) at 11:26 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I have only dropped 1 friend from my life.. Thats because i didnt agree with how she was wanting to live her life.. she had a beautiful baby boy, was going to join the service and since she was a single parent she gave her son to her dad so she can be supportive i was so proud, she failed many drug test and was kicked and unable to get back. she still doesnt have her son and is moving from guy to guy, got pregnant again by a man way older then her and had his life unplanned.. drugs again!! she called always for rides thats it.. so i told her i was done. we were friends for 9 yrs.. her life was going in a direction i didnt wanna take my family!
    Madilous08

    Comment by Madilous08 (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • If you find this a repeating issue... then the issue is YOU.


    If you really can not figure it out, then see a therapist to help you sort it out.


    Perhaps you are looking for one person to be the be-all, end-all friend.  You can have many friends for many different activities.  Each person doesnt have to be a complete friend on every level... that could be tiring.  You can have friends that are great for playdates at the park.  You can have friends that are good for couples activities.  You could have friends that are good for just one on one coffee chat.  Perhaps you are putting too much pressure on people.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • No pressure Im not looking for my BFF for life here.. I never want 1 person to do everything with, I have 2 friends who do stuff with me once in awhile.. i just dont have the friend that when things are soo bad they can pick me up..
    Madilous08

    Comment by Madilous08 (original poster) at 11:35 AM on Jun. 14, 2011

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