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Were you sexually abused by a family member?

If so, how did you deal with it to be able to move on? My sister was molested by our stepdad and she never went to therapy, never talked about it once it was over, just moved on like nothing ever happened. Do you think she is really ok?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • no one is ever ok after something like that i was molested by 2 different guys when i was real young and they weren't family i never told anyone and it definatlly effect my life now on trusting people and having a steady relationship
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 6:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I was, and I never told anyone until about 6 years ago--not one soul. I thought it didn't matter, but it had affected almost every area of my life. There were some things that I would react to in the same way every time they came up. I tried not to. It wasn't the way I wanted to behave, but it was automatic. Little by little, I discovered what was really going on with me. It may not hit your sister for a long time, but I think she has probably been scarred by what happened to her. I think it's one of the worst things that can happen to a child.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:55 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • no one was sexually abused but its kind of like my sis was cutting herself like carving the words "fat" into her legs and stupid crap like that then one day everything was ok, she wasnt doing that or anything else to her body, its kind of like WHAT HAPPENED???
    i dont even know what she did to move past that or anything.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 6:56 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • My father molested two of my sister's for years. They never went to therepy. One of them has talked to me about it a few times and oddly enough she holds no grudges, and loves our dad very much. And still chooses to call him dad (he's been her step dad since she was three) and visit him. And she is very happy in life. The other sister never mentions it....but she seems very happy in life. She has a great career, a great husband, she's an excellent mom and has an all around happy life.

    Iviemg

    Answer by Iviemg at 6:57 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I was molested by my own father for 5 years. I never went to therapy and I just finally told my husband last month. I do still call him "Dad" but I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that my mom would not divorce him OR even report him. She says that that is her husband of over 20 years and also my dad, so I need to forgive him because they both raised me. I do not go to see them often because I do resent that nobody wanted to protect me although I told. It happened again and again after I told my mom, but I'm free from them now. I'm only 17 now but living on my own with my husband and baby boy. He saved me. I don't know for sure if your sister is okay, but I know that I will NEVER in my life forget what happened to me. The pain will never go away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • it seems like i was molisted by everyone and i kinda blames it on my mom but knew she had to work..
    1-5yrs my cousin my mom found out talked to my aunt but she still baby sat us then my cuz moliested my brother.
    5-9 my babysitters son i was in 3rd grade he was in highschool.
    then the lady who my mom worked with her son was 20 i was 11.
    and my next door nabor had a knife made me. at 12
    also my ex bf raped me cuz i didnt want to have sex.
    they say you usully get molested by ppl who know

    dont say i knew better after my cuz when they force you they do.
    also i held it all in then one day tried to kill myself. tg the rope broke.
    ty for making me bring it up
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 8:08 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • you are never ok i was sexually abused by my brother and a friend of the family, i went to counseling and everything. im better than i was but i have trust issues and that sort of thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • yeah...i've been there and i still have panic attacks when something reminds me of it. i tried going to therapy but i didn't want to be drugged up so i quit. i have this extreme hate for pedophiles and want to kill them all in the most horrible ways possible but i'm ok...no, i'm not really i just say i am so people will not talk about it.
    The really fucked up part is that i still look like a kid and guys openly admit that's why they hit on me.
    Other than that i raise my kids and get on with my life, not much else to do but keep moving forward and be as good of a person that i can.
    i can write a novel of how not ok i am but it won't make a difference, just have to keep putting on that fake smile and run when the panic starts.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 9:16 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • My sister was much older than me and she molested me when I was pretty young. It only happened a couple of times. I don't talk to her and I still hate her for it and I will never forgive her. I would never go to therapy because I am so embarrassed-probably moreso because it was by a female. I wake up at night sometimes sweating because I had a nightmare about it! On the brightside I am a very normal and generally happy person! I don't think anything can ever make it go away, but you wouldn't know it if you looked at me and my life now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You accept it, do not blame yourself, and move on. My sister was molested and she molested me. Also my step father tried with me, but I fought. My sister is screwed up, but I'm ok. I had confidence issues, and I'm super paranoid about my kids, but I think I'm pretty healthy. They say 1 in 4 kids are molested. Lets just keep are selves and are kids of the people that surround us. And ladies, if your man does this, LEAVE HIM. No child should have to stay with their molester, I think if you stay, then you are just as guilty. If anyone touched my kids, I would not hesitate to castrate them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

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