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Am i a bad mom?

I'm asking because i sometimes wish that for even one day a month i could go somewhere (anywhere) even food shopping without being needed by anyone for anything. We have 6 kids total 10,9,8,4 and 5mos. old twins. Before the twins i was working full time as a nurse. When i was working all i wanted to do was be a sahm. Now that i'm a sahm i DON'T want to go back to work. It just seems like i can get pretty overwhelmed. Between my two stepson's bm and her craziness, summer vacation coming, the babies just everything. To top it off lately i've been noticing im having trouble staying asleep. I fall asleep right away, but i wake in the middle of the night. It feels like my brain just never shuts off or even slows down. My kids are great and very well behaved so its not like im dealing with a tribe of little terrors or anything. My dh is also wonderful and very helpful when he gets home from work. I just end up feeling guilty that he is helping me, i can't help him at HIS job so why should he have to help me with MINE? Dh will say that when he gets home i should just go out somewhere sometimes. It's just like i said i feel guilty leaving him with what i feel is MY job. I know it sounds stupid. I get on my own case . I feel like shouldn't my house be spotless since im ALWAYS home? While the older three are at school, and im home with only the 4yr old and the twins, why do i feel like i am struggling to get stuff done. Forget about stuff i want to do i mean the stuff that needs to be done. Some may wonder how i have time to be typing this. I usually do my "venting" on here while im in the middle of folding laundry in the basement, and the twins are cat napping lol. I don't know, just feeling shitty today i guess.

 
Genice6

Asked by Genice6 at 12:34 PM on Jun. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • And there it is 24-7! I have one child and I feel the same exact way you do! This has beaten me down I really started becoming depressed over this. My SO works 6 days a week out in the hot sun( when sun bathing exhausts us all by its self) and he helps me to! You have good days and bad days you know?! I started by having some decaf hot tea at night. Then I worked myself (just started this week) with writing down things that need done and things I'd like to get done and made a weekly schedule as to when is the best time to do this. This helped with not thinking about it while laying in bed. I didn't have to remember it was all down in black and white. The things that need done I focus on first thing of the day because if I wait something always happens to where I end up not being able to do it. So I also have designated days where I take time for me which will be Thurs and Sundays for about an hour or so.
    Naplesmommy03

    Answer by Naplesmommy03 at 1:08 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • You are not a bad mom, you are an overwhelmed one that needs ME time bad!
    older

    Answer by older at 12:36 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Good grief, it sounds like you are a wonderful mother. I went grocery shopping without my 3 oldest when they were little. I had to come home and get them because I couldn't think without them there. Everyone needs a bit of peace and quiet once in a while. I try and get up before everyone and have a few minutes in the morning and then stay up a little later at night for the same reason. I had the same sleep problem. Once in a while I would make myself a drink at night to relax or take some Tylenol PM. It doesn't put you so out that you don't hear the children, but will relax your brain enough to sleep. I know the guilt of leaving them at home if you go out. Just give yourself a little "you" time at home. Lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bubble bath if you can't go out without the guilt.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 12:38 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • You are NOT a bad mom! Every mom has these feelings sometimes. You are overwhelmed and just need a break. It is not unreasonable for you husband to take care of the kids for a couple of hours while you go have some time to yourself. It makes you a better mom when you can do things like that
    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 12:40 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Give yourself a break. It sounds like you need it. Other people leave their jobs at the end of the day, go home and forget about it. Unfortunately, your job IS your home, so where is the respite? I work outside the home, only have one child, and I still don't have enough hours in a day to do everything that needs doing. Stop trying to overachieve, you're making yourself crazy. Your house doesn't need to be spotless, your husband can help out and you need to get out every once in a while!
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 12:42 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Ah Mommy, we have all been there and done that!!! You are burned out and that is ok. Breathe and be kind to yourself. You need a bit of a break...even if the house stays messy for a few days. The house work will wait for you trust me. lol. Can any adult help you take a time out, even if it is only for an hour? You can take a bath or a walk, etc... Feel better!
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 12:43 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • NO You are not a bad mom... You over whelmed and need a good healthy break. Time to find a sitter or hubby on a Sat and make a spa day... Just you or you and a GF! Working moms and SAHM's need a break and get away from it all once in a while...
    monshine2

    Answer by monshine2 at 12:43 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • ..don't feel shitty, mama. you're a great mama. but in order to continue to BE a great mama, you have to first take care of yourself. no, you don't help your hubby with his job, but he works 8 hours, punches the clock, and comes home. YOU WORK 24-7.
    eatapeach

    Answer by eatapeach at 12:49 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Everybody feels like this at one point or another, you just need to get some MOMMY time! Breaks should be mandatory for mothers!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:15 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • CONT...But it's not exactly me time. It's getting things done I'd like to do. You're one person just remember that. It's exhausting being a mom but sometimes you just have to say wait a minute! I get up at 6am to water our plants because if not I won't have time to do it. Then I use the time I have before my son wakes up to do what is most important for the day around the house and then of course see what's going on here lol! Try to relax first that way you can think clearly and find something that might work for you and your family. Try doing the list thing. Write down everything you need/want done and write down in a weekly planner when that may be the best time to do that maybe label 1-6 with whats most important to get done whatever doesn't get done maybe roll over to the next day or even next week. For me it was just feeling like I had nothing running smoothly and I was going crazy! Good luck!!!!
    Naplesmommy03

    Answer by Naplesmommy03 at 1:18 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

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