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Wedding invitation dilemma

My cousin is getting married in August. The wedding is out of town. She sent an invitation to me, my husband and two of my three kids. The youngest is not invited. Hubby says we should bring him anyway. My mom says I should have a very awkward discussion and ask if I can bring him. I say, if she specifically excluded him from the invitation, she does not want him there. The issue is, I have no one to babysit. Everyone I'd trust will be at this wedding. What to do?

 
1smartcookie

Asked by 1smartcookie at 12:59 PM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (14,172 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I would just call her and talk to her. I don't know his age, but maybe he is just too young and wont be having a meal and that is why she didn't include. You never know. It may also be that he is too young and she doesn't want him crying during the ceremony. You wont know though until you ask her. If she has a rule that she wants no babies are allowed and that is why she didn't include him, I wouldn't ask if he could come. That puts her in an awkward position with everyone else with babies. If thats the case, maybe you and your oldest child can go and your hubby can stay home with the younger two :)
    CJM_SHM

    Answer by CJM_SHM at 1:03 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I vote for the uncomfortable conversation. Better to hear things right from the source.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 1:03 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I have an interesting idea - it's not likely that your cousin addressed the envelopes herself. If she used a family address list for her addresses, it may be that the name of the baby just hadn't been updated yet! That had been the case for my own wedding for a hand-ful of relatives. If she was getting a friend to help her address the envelopes, the friend wouldn't have caught the fact that your youngest hadn't been added yet. I say, call the cousin to clarify.

    If the baby truly isn't invited, you can travel to the wedding and high a sitter through a service to stay with the baby at the hotel during the wedding and reception.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 1:06 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Honestly, I would call your cousin and ask about whether or not babies are welcome. Personally, I would not attend a wedding that only one of my children was to be excluded from.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:08 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • That should be "hire a sitter" - not "high a sitter". It would be nice if we were able to edit answers!
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 1:09 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I'm with you. If some can go and others can't, then we're ALL not going. My kids and I are a package deal. You get all of us, or none of us.

    I would call her and ask about your baby, and if she says no, then I'd say none of us are coming.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:22 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • It sounds like there really ws a mistake and the only way to really find out the truth is to call her and ask if infants are invitied. She may feel badly for accidentally missing putting your son on the invite or she may tell you no we are not having infants. If that is the case then you have a perfectly good reason for opting out as everyone you trust will be attending the wedding. This would make it the brides choice and not your fault for not being able to attend. So I don't think that is petty at all.
    kdwiegandt

    Answer by kdwiegandt at 1:22 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • If it were me I would call her and ask if children are invited and let her know you have 3 children (not 2). Then make your decision on wether to go after that phone call. If you can't find a sitter you may want to mention that and tell her that you may not be able to to the wedding.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:35 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • You need to call her. Very likely it was a small error. And if she doesn't want your youngest there, then be tactfully honest and tell her you cannot attend.

    It's an invitation, not a subpoena.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:07 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Bring all your kids. I can guarantee you she did not do that on purpose...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:03 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

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