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So he EMAILS me that he wants to separate...Email...really?!

8 years. 3 kids. He's been a pot smoker who has lied about his habit for the entire 8 years. I have developed a huge mistrust in him and it comes through in my attitude. The irony of the situation is that I insisted he go to therapy to get over his lying problems and the therapist helped him see how I"M THE PROBLEM! NOT HIM!!! wtf. So I get an Email of all things saying he's coming home to pack.

I have been putting up with this lying ass for all these years for the kids and now he wants to leave?

So I suggested that I go to therapy so perhaps I can get over all the lies and hurt that he has done to me - simply to save the family.

Am I right or stupid for trying to change me instead of him now?

Yes, pot is the only issue, otherwise he's decent all around.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • Im totally against marriage considering everyone in america seems to get divorced as much as they change there underware. Sometimes men have a hard time getting things off there chest so to them writing a letter is the only way to fully express what they are fealing. I have a hard time thinking that anyone would just throw away 8 yrs of marriage but it happens all the time and many because they are too lazy to fix things. The both of you really need to sit down with out the children around and have one on one talk and let it all out because this is seriouse or atleast it is to me, I take marriage very seriouse. Best of luck and dont give up, you even said that without the pot that he was a good guy :)

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 1:30 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Therapy is a great idea for you to help you through whatever happens. And yes ..WTF.... with the email!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Dahis at 1:13 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • For me it was 10 years, 2 kids and a typed letter which he handed me and then sat and watched me read. The divorce went through in 2008 and I'm remarried and have a third child with me new hubby! If it were me, I'd let him leave.

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 1:14 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I think you should wo on yourself..not chane yourself. If he wants to really go then let stay together just for the kids is the worst thing you can do.

    Answer by happymama02 at 1:14 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Print the email and throw it out on the lawn with all of the things on his list after you have changed the locks. What a jerk!

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:14 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Honestly, if it were me and him smoking weed was our ONLY issue, I would over look it. If he was an honest, faithful, loving provider/husband/father. If he was not spending outrageous amounts of money or time on his habit I could accept it.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 1:15 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • My friends husband told her they needed to work on their marriage.and then changed his facebook relationship status to single.She did not have a facebook I told her.Email is just as bad as that.Me personally, I would tell him to go and not let the doorknob hit him on the way out.But you do what you gotta do.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:16 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • So what do you plan on working on through therapy then?? Just curious? just how to get over what HE Has done to you , the kids and the relationship? what about couples cousenling? If it were me, I'd say Fine.. BYE.. I get you want to save your family but how much BS are you supposed to put up with?

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:23 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Lol I ment to say Im totally agains DIVORCE!!!Haha sorry, my kids woke me up extremely early this morning and on top of that I went to bed late last night.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 1:32 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Never stay in a relationship "for the kids" it's not a good idea & it's not healthy for the kids, kids are better off with their parents separated instead of together & fighting all the time & kids can sense when parents don't love each other don't under estimate kids their smarter then we think. If he doesn't want to be with you then let him go, your better off without him anyways why would you want someone who can't see his wrong & is trying to blame you for everything. REALLY?!. GL!


    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 1:36 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

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