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2 Bumps

How am I supposed to move on and not love my childs father anymore?

he left me after almost a year and a half together and i am almost 8 months pregnant. I just dont know what to do without him. I feel like Im nothing and I cry everyday because I think wow Im carrying a part of him and he doesnt want to realize how much that hurts me. Thinking Im carrying her and not with him just makes me lose my mind everyday. I just dont know what to do without him. He was and still is my everything. Can someone guide me in the right direction?

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AshleighAnne

Asked by AshleighAnne at 4:11 PM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'm so sorry you're going through this.
    I found out I was pregnant AFTER my sons father and I broke up, we didn't get back together until he was 2 months old, then he ended it on our son's second birthday. What helped me was knowing that I HAD to be strong for my child. Your daughter is what matters here and if he doesn't want to be part of her life, that is his loss. I know it seems impossible now, but you will get through this.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 4:18 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • it all just seems alot easier said than done. Like he tore my heart out and is continuing to walk all over it. Like I still continue to bend over backwards for him in hopes of us getting back together. I would do anything to have him back/ But I know he just cant accept that. I messed up in the past and he said he "forgave" me and then 2 weeks ago broke up with me. Like out of no where 8 months after my mess up and then leaves me. I just dont understand men and I never will...
    AshleighAnne

    Comment by AshleighAnne (original poster) at 4:23 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I do not think it would be possible for me to have moved on had my husband left me. I think I would have always loved him, no matter what. Therefore, I think that to expect yourself to move on and not love him any more is very unrealistic. What you may have to do is to work on accepting that he never loved you, that he was only using you, and that when you became pregnant, he did not want to face up to that responsibility. My husband and I had been married 5 years when our first child was born, and I knew that I knew he was committed to me for a lifetime and he knew the same thing about me. Too many men today are taking advantage of women who love and want to be loved. That can only happen when a woman allows herself to be used. If you can concentrate on that fact rather than thinking you should stop loving this man, it may help you put things into the proper perspective and keep you from ever letting it happen again.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:25 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Like Nanny said, you WILL always love him. I will always love my son's father, he is the father of my child. But we are done, and knowing that, making that decision, really helped me. I finally realized that I don't deserve to be treated that way (he never hurt me, just can't handle a relationship. He IS a good father)
    Honey, I have to say this, if he is still punishing you for something that happened 8 months ago, you are better off without him. I don't know what you did and it's none of my buisness, but unless you killed someone, or tried to kill him, if he did love you, he would forgive you and move on.
    What Nanny said makes a lot of sense.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 5:52 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • From my personal experience it just took times, lots of time. A good friend of mine at the time said "just keep busy". So that' what I did, and although it didn't fix it, there were days when it was a little less painful. I'm sorry you are going thru this..it's hard and so many of us know exactly how you feel.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:02 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • So what do you mean by you messed up 8 months ago? Like you got pregnant on accident? If that's it, then he's just as much at fault....unless you mean you cheated on him and you are 8 months along and cheated 8 months ago. In that case, he's probably going nuts inside his own head believing this isn't his child? ....sorry you are in this situation. Focus on your baby girl and all will go well. It won't be easy, but if you need to talk to someone, you can message me. Good luck!
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 9:08 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • kword you got it. i cheated on him. but she was conceived at the beginning of the month and i cheated at the end of the month. so I know who the father is. but hes just being a jerk about it all.
    AshleighAnne

    Comment by AshleighAnne (original poster) at 10:03 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

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