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is it a good idea to threaten a spouse that you will leave if they dont change their ways?

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edwinsmom2008

Asked by edwinsmom2008 at 2:47 AM on Jul. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • only if ur willing to hold up to the leaving. dont just say it, cause if ur only using it as a scare tactic then it is wrong, but if ur saying it as an actual cry for help for ur relationship then it might make him see how miserable u are. however if he is abusive then dont even threaten, just leave.
    kissmiss213

    Answer by kissmiss213 at 3:00 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • I often heard that once that threat is made.. it cannot be taken back.. you have opened that door and it can be used against you later...
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 3:02 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • I THINK IT IS IF THATS THE ONLY WAY TO GET THREW TO THEM THEN GO A HEAD
    SARAH20

    Answer by SARAH20 at 3:09 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Been there done that-I learned if you do make a threat then you need to come through-if you let him call your bluff and you don't do i t your screwed. My husband called my bluff-now i'm single and happy!!
    MamaDebbie209

    Answer by MamaDebbie209 at 4:30 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Like everyone has said, if you are going to make the threat you better follow through with it. I can't stand empty threats, esp for someone to just get what they want.
    My2Midgets01

    Answer by My2Midgets01 at 4:32 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Well as soon as you tell hem that you are leaving for what ever reason you should act upon it as soon as he starts the habit. Start by packing right in front of this face. Tell him you can't his shit anymore.
    Wokida

    Answer by Wokida at 5:29 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Only if you've exhausted every other effort to get them to change, only if you're trying to change something worth changing (like excessive drinking, drugs, or abuse), and finally, only if you're actually prepared to walk out at the moment you make the ultimatum.
    kellietinsley

    Answer by kellietinsley at 5:32 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Oh i also think that you should try holding out on having any more kids because once their is more than one it will be harder to act upon things. He needs to change before anymore kids will come to the picture.
    Wokida

    Answer by Wokida at 5:34 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • an utamatum is never a good idea. they have to pick one! MY SIL learned this the hard way my leaving a note for mt BIL and he took it as a way out. they got divorced, shes still not over it. she wanted him to change not leave, she regrets it all the time, its been 3 years. try talking instead of demanding, sounds like you want a resolution ,not a dissolution
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • I told that to my husband and he didnt change...i left...we took a trip together about a month later and it worked...weve been married alomost 3 years now and things have never been better...it only works if you show you can hold your word and if the relationship was ment to work
    mommadent

    Answer by mommadent at 3:35 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

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