Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Would you agree to adopt under these conditions????

I saw this on tv that a woman was looking to give her baby up for adoption through open adoption. Now, she had a healthy, white baby girl (and I know a lot of white couples only want healthy white babies and that can be a long wait so maybe that factored into it) but 4 couples were all willing to agree to her conditions. They were 1. The family couldn't move out of state. 2. She got to see the baby once every 3 months for at least 2 hours. 3. They had to pay all her medical expenses and her rent for her entire pregnancy (pay her back for what she already paid) 4. she got to name the baby 5. they had to raise the baby Catholic (I guess that's why she only chose catholic parents) and 6. she got to be the God mother at the baptism. Would you agree to these conditions? I feel it's asking a little much, personally.

 
JLS2388

Asked by JLS2388 at 8:24 PM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Adoption

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (66)
  • As a BM, I eliminated a couple from being APs because they wouldn't pay for any of my expenses. Being poor and barely able to support my first kid was one of the reasons I chose adoption, and if someone wouldn't help me financially then they couldn't adopt my child. Medical expenses, rent, groceries, and utilities as well as maternity clothes. You don't like it, look for another pregnant woman who wants to place their kid.
    soflashelley

    Answer by soflashelley at 3:51 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • ok...does she want to be the mother of this child or not...make a choice...
    Aleighasmom09

    Answer by Aleighasmom09 at 8:37 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Yes. It's too much. If she can't keep the baby, then she needs to learn to live with someone else being the parent. The minute she gives up the kid, she signs aways her parental rights.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 9:00 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I too feel it's a bit too much.
    smurfyangel

    Answer by smurfyangel at 8:26 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • You'd be surprised. These are common requests. Paying for her medical expenses is pretty much par for the course. The only thing is that she can ask for anything she likes but once the papers are signed she is a legal stranger to her child and has no legal recourse. The adoptive parents can move, change her name, shut the mother out, become pagans and there's nothing she can do about it. I think she could sue for her medical expenses but I'm not sure.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:30 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • No, I would not mainly because I couldn't promise to raise the baby Catholic.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:28 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • No I wouldn't, if she wanted all this she should keep it herself.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:28 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Something interesting. In the days called "the baby scoop era" when girls were sent away to maternity homes, weren't allowed to see or hold their babies, didn't know what sex they were, didn't know who adopted them, or where they went, the one and only thing they were allowed to do was pick the religion of the adoptive parents.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:53 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • A visit every three months? How is that co-parenting?

    The living expenses are against the law, or should be if they aren't in your state.

    I don't get why it would be a problem for the mother to choose the name, unless it was some horrible one.

    Requesting a child to be raised a certain religion absolutely should be allowed if that is important to the mom ~ that used to be the only thing a mother could request of the family who got to adopt her child.

    The Godmother thing is the only request that surprised me, but I don't see it as going too far, or as wanting to co-parent. The role of Godparent is a role of honor, a role of religious teaching in the child's life. If the family is the same religion as the mother, and the mother & child will have a relationship thru visitation anyways, how could this be viewed as anything except a loving gesture between the mother and the adoptive parents. An act of love FOR the child.
    susie703

    Answer by susie703 at 10:29 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • "Call it harsh...call it what you want..

    I just say it how I feel it."

    I call it harsh and mean-spirited. I am all for sharing honest feeling, but that doesn't mean one writes without ANY filtering.
    It is possible to say how you feel without being insulting or mean.


    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 10:04 AM on Jun. 15, 2011