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Why do people have no remorse when you are going through a m/c?

I was 6 weeks 1 day when i had my m/c on 6/6/11 and my sister in law is right at nine weeks now and it seems like my whole family is rubbing it my face that she is pregnant. They dont realize how much i am grieving and it is like they really dont care...why can they not see how much i am hurting?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (18)
  • hugs


    They either don't understand or don't notice how upset you are.

    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 9:27 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I am so sorry, hun. *Hugs*
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:27 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Maybe they are unaware that you are hurting so much. And it is normal for your family to want to celebrate a pregnancy. Im sorry for your loss, I have been there. Let your family know how you are feeling, that you are happy for your sis in law, but still very sensitive to the subject and wish that they can tone it down around you. At the same time you cannot expect them to not be happy for her.. she deserves to be celebrated to! :) good luck dear.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 9:27 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Sometimes when you are grieving it can seem like the whole world is rubbing it in your face with that is not their purpose at all. I have been there and sometime you are overly sensitized and people are not meaning to hurt you.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:29 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I am very happy for her and i want them to celebrate for her i really do but it is constantly they never stop about it when i am around them never from the time we are around each other until the time i leave i have told them how much this hurts me and i am gettng no where. she has been in my shoes and she should know how much it hurts but i honestly feel like they are doing it on purpose just wish they would understand.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:30 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Sorry for your loss. I think its always hard for a family when one looses a baby and then someone else falls pregnant, its natural to be happy about the new baby, but they have to make a conscience effort to be very careful of your feelings, if you feel that they are not you may have to mention to them that your having a hard time getting over your loss and that you need some time and you need them to be understanding of this. ((hugs)) Good Luck!
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:35 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I dont think they are trying to rub it in your face... I understand that you are going through a hardtime they are just excited, try not to be bitter about it, I am so sorry for your loss =(
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 9:36 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Maybe take a hiatus from family gatherings until this hurts less. If they ask, just say that you are still grieving and would rather not be around the baby chatter.


    hugs

    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 9:49 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • i wish that was possible but my girls birthday party is this coming saturday. so unfortunately i have to deal with my family at least until after that is over i dont feel like i have the energy to go to my own girls party but i will be there and fake being ok just until it is all over then i can go back into hiding again
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:54 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Hugs to you and I can understand your feelings.. Maybe they are hurting too but they are focusing on her as a way to help them cope with their own pain.. Loss is always hard. I would take a break for awhile until you get through this part of the grieving process but please don't lock yourself away completely.. You still need to be around those that love you and care about you...
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:57 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

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