Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Husband went on my computer and forwarded my personal emails to his email account.

My husband is verbally abusive and I am trying to find a place for me and the kids without him knowing. He went on my personal lap top while I was at work, went into my outlook and found emails regarding my looking for a place and forwarded them to his email address. He says he has a lawyer and he was told this was legal. He plans on using my emails against me saying I am looking for a place to hide his children from him. I am so pissed. Does anyone know if this was legal? I live in NJ if that helps.

Answer Question

Asked by DeeMomOfFour at 10:59 PM on Jun. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (578 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I live in NJ as well...and I wish that I could answer that ? for you..

    But in a legal stand point the only one that could give you the proper answer is a lawyer...

    I would pick up the phone and do just that.....Where you planning on leaving the state...because that is another ball park?

    Answer by Dannee at 11:03 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • No clue :/ I agree, talk with a lawyer. It does sound as if it was legal, but his reason might not hold a glass of water in court.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:08 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • It's legal because you're married to him. The rule of what's mine is ours, etc. Sorry but until you divorce him he can legally look through your mail, email, messages, texts...etc. besides there seems to be an undertone or a reason as to why he would check your email. I think you're just leaving it out to not look bad. But that's just my opinion. I don't know the whole story.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I don't know if it's legal to go into your DH or DW emails, but him using that in court is stupid, you can pick up & leave with your kids when ever you want, the only thing you can not do is leave the state with your kids without your DH consent, so if he uses in court that you were leaving him & was going to try & keep the kids from him the judge is just going to ignore that, also try & record him when he's being abusive so you can have good proof of how mean he is to you. GL hun.

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 11:21 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Yes in the state of NJ, it is legal to tape a phone conversation....

    As long as it only involves two people in on the conversation..

    Answer by Dannee at 11:24 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • I am so sorry. I too was in a very emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. Try to find a shelter for battered women in your county. You can call the local policce and the can tell you where one is. It will give you asafe and hidden place to figur out what to do next. They have advocates there that wil help you with all the legally stuff, etc. Good luck to you. If your like me you have a hard road ahead of you for awhile, but once you are free it is the greatest thing in the world, Hugs

    Answer by kdwiegandt at 11:31 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • Because you two are married, you both have legal custody of the kids. That means that either one of you could take the kids and move out without consent from the other as long as you do not leave the state. If you move out with the kids he can not get you in trouble and vise versa. When you get divorced and after custody is established, that is where the lines are drawn.

    Answer by SMG1120 at 11:52 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

  • im not to sure how legal that is but as a female who has been abused physically, mentally, and verbally. u have the right to protect u and your children. and i think it was a good idea to get away but i deff. would find a safe place and get the law involved.

    Answer by myangel02 at 2:21 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I'd call the police and ask them if it's legal. In some states you have the right to privacy even if you are married unless it's a joint email account. I don't think the emails will help his case. It just proves you are unhappy with him and are considering leaving him. He can't prove you were going to keep the kids from him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:45 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.