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2 Bumps

Adult daughter disrespectful.

Trying to keep this uncomplicated well, we had a disagreement in our home -daughter, son and I are roommates. My daughter called me a selfish bitch and said she wished her son did not think so highly of me!! Needless to say this hurt me very much. She actually text ed those hurtful words now a week ago and I have not spoken to her. Our problem has been resolved but my daughter has not apologized. I have watched her son (my good buddy) so often and even for 13 days two months ago when she went to Mexico.. I am not selfish, however, even if I was the most selfish person in the world, i feel she should have never said that to me! Very disrespectful. I know my daughter is not one to say sorry, but i feel she needs to and i will not talk to her until she does. Seems like this strain in our relationship only bothers me. How should i handle this?

 
dmr73059

Asked by dmr73059 at 2:18 AM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (779 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You seem to be holding onto this too. Let it go. Start talking again, and when the time seems good tell her how hurt you were and see if you can work it out.
    GrammytoTrin

    Answer by GrammytoTrin at 2:56 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Has she always been disrespectful to you, growing up etc? I am 36 and wouldnt dare say something like that to my Mother, as I know she wouldnt stand for it. I am sorry she said something like that to you.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 2:22 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • It's immature of you to be "not talking to her." If the problem is resolved, let it go. You're certainly not going to get an apology acting like a miffed teenager.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:01 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • No, she has never said anything like that to me before.she is 28 and as days pass by with no apology form he;r i am beginning to think that must be how she feels. i know she is one to hold grudges and is not quick to say sorry to someone.

    dmr73059

    Comment by dmr73059 (original poster) at 2:50 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Well, there has to be a reason she said it. I am pretty open and honest with me mother, you can call it disrespectful but if my mom is treating me badly (she is very different from me, even though I am 24 and have always been sensitive she will still pick on me sometimes and I will tell her how rude she is) I will let her know! I love my mother dearly, but I guess I feel like, parents shouldn't be able to treat their children like dirt and get away with it. NOT saying you treat your daughter badly, but maybe you hurt her somehow and she lashed out....? Why don't you talk to her, tell her how much it hurt you. If you are looking for an apology why not go to her.
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 3:55 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • At some point...she decided this kind of behavior toward you was "OK". Where could that have come from?
    Even if she apologized, ...would she really "mean it" ? or Would it just be an empty apology just to smooth things over. I mean, ..is this truly how she feels? I think I would have to get down to the bottom of what in the world would make her even SAY such a thing to her own mother for land sakes.
    That's just me though.....that would definitely be very hurtful and I would have to know 'why' and try to fix the deeper problem so it wouldn't happen again.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 8:33 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I would sit down and ask her why she felt she could talk to you this way and what is going on there may be something that is really bothering her and she is just lashing out at you because you are there ask her why she would say something like that to you in the first place and why she feels this way. Get to the bottom of what is going on and figure out why she feels this way
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:39 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Tell her it was uncalled for and disrespectful and that you raised her better than that. Ask her to picture her son when he's older saying those exact words to her and how that would make her feel....especially when he doesn't have the respect and love to apologise
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 8:40 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Write her a letter, this wll let a little steam off for you and let her know exactly how you feel. Lead by example and talk to her about the weather or anything you can discuss peacefuly. You know we don't have a promise of tomorrow, it would be devastating if anyting were to happen to either of you before you get this resolved. Remember you don't have to like everyting about the ones you Love !
    shefree

    Answer by shefree at 8:49 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • for one i would never speak to my mother like that and i'm 39 years old. and second, if my own daughter said that to me, believe me i would probably kick her ass especially after being there for her to watch her child. she needs to show a little more respect to you, there is going to be a day when you aren't there for her.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 3:28 PM on Jun. 15, 2011