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He doesn't care if I leave...

My husband and I were talking about something. And we ended up in a little argument, over what I have no idea since it wasn't a big deal (it never is in the beginning). But he ended up saying, "Go, go home! I don't care!" By home he means my parents. So, after this I just shut up, he went and took a shower, he came out (maybe 10 min. later) and started talking to me about dinner and acting like everything was normal. I just looked at him like he grew an extra nose while in the shower! I mean, really!! Who tells their SO they don't care if you leave then asks about dinner? So, I said, just one question, how do you expect me to hear you say that and be ok with it? He said he was just trying to prove a point....WHAT IS THE POINT? Besides making me feel bad? He just kept saying, I was proving a point... So, how would you feel? He says this a lot when we start to argue. It hurts my feelings, he knows that, he always says he doesn't WANT me to leave but he wouldn't care if I did. :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:14 AM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • He is just SAYING that, call his bluff...leave...and see how fast he is calling you to come back. My husband used to have that attitude,right up until the day I packed his stuff..... He stopped that shit real quick.
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 4:18 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I actually did. A year ago, I left for a few months. Refused to even contact him, made him call me to talk. He asked me to come back after a few weeks! I honestly think he just says it to hurt my feelings, but it sucks he knows how to hurt me and uses it :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:20 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • When he says it, that would be the time to go pack your stuff.....eventually he will realize that you may leave for good, and stop saying it.
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 4:32 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • My ex said stuff like that all of the time you can leave any time you want five minutes later lets have sex???
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:55 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Relationships can be SO confusing. Who really knows what goes on in someone else's head. Maybe he doesn't care down deep. Maybe he just lashes out and that's the only thing he knows how to hurt you with. Why would he want to hurt you with that remark alot? ...It could just go on and on like that. Best thing to do is to get down to the nitty-gritty reason why he throws this at you so much when you bicker. Maybe he won't do it again and maybe you'll finally know WHY he chooses to say that to you.
    Best I can do. It's always good to TALK things all the way through instead of being left to wonder "why".
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 8:06 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I'd leave and not come back until he agrees to go for counseling with me. Or I would pack his bags, toss them out the front door, and tell him you're proving a point- point being he can no longer verbally abuse me or hurt me. Let him see how that feels. Either way, you need to seek professional help if you are arguing a lot and that's his defense. You can also "boycott" when he says this and refue to cook, clean, or do anything for him, again, with the intention of not resuming these things until he agrees to get professional help. Communication is the key to a good relationship; sounds like yours could use some improving. Good luck!
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 9:59 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

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