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I am HURTING can someone help?

I am married to my Pastor's son. I am a minister and have been since before we were dating. Our relationship was fine until he moved in with his mom. Sure we did some things that were not "Holy" but we both repented and got it together. I always felt that his family didn't think I was good enough for him. We went through hell and decided to ellope. We did that cause he was too afraid to tell her how he felt about me. Of course, everyone feels like I coerced him into it and they don't respect our marriage. They easily forgave him because he plays the goodboy roll and he is the Pastor's baby and won't stand up for our marriage. They make me feel so uncomfortable and like I don't belong. I loved the church and the people but now I feel so unwanted there. I'm hurting because I want to go somewhere I and we can be happy. But he is happy. I was willing to stay until I realized he wasn't even considering how I feel.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (20)
  • Wow, I understand what you're going through. If you believe in prayer that's all you can do and ask God to give you the endurance to go through the test. A really good book I reccomend is the Power of a Praying Wife By Stormie Omartian. It really helped me when It seemed like I was going through a hopeless time in my marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • they usully say pastor kids are the worst. lol*
    If he dont want to leave or stand up really there isnt any thing you can do...
    make a dinner for both family talk about everything
    yall are humans that is all you got.
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 10:24 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Seems the Pastor's family does not practice what it preaches. No one man or woman is suppose to get between a marriage. I am sure his family is well versed in the book of Genesis and how a woman and man "become one" once they are married.
    Tetona

    Answer by Tetona at 10:43 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • anon: I feel that you are in a battle for your marriage. Do things to try and improve the situation. As harsh as this may sound. you made the decision to marry this young man. You must follow the proper procedures and follow your husband. But do your part and draw close to God and let him work things out for you. God hears and sees the situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I agree with the person above me. You made the choice to elope and now you have to pray to deal with the situation that you dealt yourself. God will keep you together. See if you can get him to go on a marriage encounter weekend. You can google this and find one in your area.
    sew4heaven

    Answer by sew4heaven at 11:05 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You must follow the proper procedures and follow your husband.


    Huh?  What century is this?  "Proper procedures" - what does that entail and who gets to say what the proper procedures are?


    You state that he moved in with his mom - are you separated?  If not, he needs to take your feelings into consideration.  You BOTH eloped, not just you.  There needs to be a happy medium somewhere, but he has to stand up for your marriage to mommy and daddy dearest - and that is his fault that he doesnt.  And you deserve that respect, which HE should be giving to you.  If you havent told him how you feel, I think its time you do.  Living the rest of your life unhappily and uncomfortable is not a quality life.

    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 11:21 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW THE BIBLE AS A MODEL FOR YOUR MARRIAGE THE QUESTION IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU. WE DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO RESPECT OR UNDERSTAND WHAT WE AS CHRISTIAN PEOPLE HOLD AS STANDARDS FOR OUR LIVES. THANK YOU.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Well, first of all, I am a Christian. And second, I have a right to my opinion, and I gave it. And last I looked this was a free country and a public forum. And as God took the rib from Adam and made Eve, he made her his partner. They are equals, and he should stand up for their marriage. And btw - all caps is yelling - just so you know.

    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 11:30 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • If you keep reading you'll also find out that a woman is not supposed to leave her husband except for adultery. ( I do not think this young lady is being abused physically as for we are reading) in that case she needs to use Godly wisdom. But other than that she's made a vow before man and God. What God has joined together let no man put asunder especially not by some poster from Cafe Mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I'm not yelling I accidentally pushed the caps button.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

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